NUMBERS: Chapter 22

Chapter 22
Summary:	The people of Israel traveled on, camping in the plains of Moab, east of the Jordan River by Jericho. King Balak, the son of Zippor and king of Moab, had seen what the people of Israel had done to the Amorites, and his kingdom became scared and distressed by the large amount of people in the Israeli army. Balak spoke with the elders of Midian, voicing his fears that the Israelites would "lick up all that are around" them, "as an ox licketh up the grass of the field". The king then sent messengers to Balaam, the son of Beor, living in the land of Pethor near the Euphrates River. He summoned Balaam explaining that these people who have come out from Egypt (the Israelites) are beginning to cover the face of the earth, and that they are against him. King Balak begged Balaam to come to Moab and curse the Israelites and drive them out of the land, as they were too mighty for his armies to repel. King Balak was aware of the blessings that fall upon all that Balaam has blessed, and the doom that falls all that Balaam has cursed. The messengers that delivered the message were amongst the elders of Moab and Midian, and came bearing a reward of money as they delivered King Balak's message to Balaam. Balaam told the messengers to stay for the night and that he would speak with them again after speaking with God. God came to Balaam and asked who these men were that were staying with him, to which Balaam replied that they were sent by King Balak of Moab. Balaam repeated to God what the king had said to him, about a horde of people who had come out of Egypt and that he had been asked to curse them in the hopes that it would drive them out of the land. God tells Balaam that he is not to go with these messengers, nor is he to curse the people, for they are blessed. Balaam awoke in the morning and told the messengers to return to their land, as God had refused to allow him to leave with them. The messengers returned to King Balak and told him that Balaam refused to come with them. King Balak sent another group of messengers consisting of even more noble leaders than the last, and they went to Balaam begging him to return to Moab with them. The messengers told Balaam that the king has promised to bestow a great honor upon him and whatever reward he chooses. Balaam answered the men stating that even if the king had offered his palace filled with silver and gold, that he would still be unable to to go against God's word. Balaam tells the men to stay the night and that he will again speak with God to see if he had anything further to say. God again came to Balaam that night and told him that if these men came to summon him, then he shall go with them, but tells Balaam that he is to only do what God tells him to do. Balaam awoke the next morning, saddled his donkey, and went with the princes of Moab. God became angry because Balaam went with the messengers (despite having commanded him to go with them the previous evening) and placed an angel in his way to stand as an adversary against him. Balaam was riding his donkey, along with his two servants, when the donkey saw the angel standing in the way with a sword drawn in its hand. The donkey turned aside out of the way and went into the field, so Balaam beat her to get her back on the path. The angel stood in a path in the vineyards between two walls, and the donkey seeing the angel thrust herself against the wall crushing Balaam's foot against the wall, so Balaam beat her again. The angel then moved ahead further to a more narrow space where there would be no room for the donkey to turn right or left. When the donkey saw the angel, she fell down under Balaam. Balaam became angry and beat the donkey again with his staff. God then "opened the mouth" of the donkey, and the donkey said to Balaam, "What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?" Balaam replied to his donkey that he beat her because the donkey had mocked him. He added that if he was armed with a sword that he would have killed her. The donkey then asked Balaam if she had not served him well until this day, and had she ever done anything like this before, to which Balaam conceded that she had not. God "opened the eyes" of Balaam, and he then saw the angel standing in the way with its sword drawn. Balaam bowed down his head and "fell on his face". The angel asked Balaam why had he beaten the donkey three times and stated that it stood in Balaam's way because his actions were "perverse". The angel explained that the donkey had seen and turned from the angel three times, and that if she hadn't the angel surely would have slain Balaam while sparing the life of his donkey. Balaam then told the angel that he had "sinned" because he was unaware that the angel was standing in the way against him. He then tells the angel that he will turn around and head back if he has displeased the angel. The angel tells Balaam to go with Balak's messengers, but to only say what he is told to say by God. Balaam went with the messengers, and when King Balak heard that Balaam was coming, he went out to greet him at a city in Moab, on the border of the Arnon River. King Balak then asked Balaam why he had delayed his coming, and why his offers of reward had not motivated him to come sooner. Balaam responds by saying that although he has came, he is no power to say anything except what God tells him to speak. Balaam then went with King Balak to Kirjathhuzoth, where the king sacrificed oxen and sheep, giving the animals to Balaam and the messengers that were with him. The following morning, King Balak brought Balaam to the top of Mount Baal, where he could see the people of Israel spread out before him.
Thoughts:	This chapter introduces us to the king of Moab, King Balak, who is fearing the growing army of the people of Israel after seeing what they had done to the Amorites. King Balaak sends some dignitaries down to a prophet named Balaam, who lived in the land of Pethor near the Euphrates River. The king tries to summoned Balaam, explaining his fear of his kingdom being conquered by the Israelites, and asks Balaam - who he knows has favor with God - to curse them, in order to drive them away from the land of Moab. Balaam tells the messengers to stay for the night and that he would speak with God that evening and give them an answer in the morning. That night God visits with Balaam and says something curious, he asks Balaam who these men are that are visiting. Most believers attribute omniscience and omnipresence as characteristics to Yahweh, but clearly here he is shown to be ignorant towards the identities of Balaam's visitors. If God is an omniscient being he would know who these men were, and if he was omnipresent, he would have seen King Balak send these men. Obviously, this chapter is yet another example that God is not quite as omniscient and omnipresent as he is commonly described as. Balaam then has to explain to God (in spite of God's alleged omniscience and omnipresence) who these men are, and repeats the message they delivered from King Balak. God tells Balaam that he is not to go with these messengers, nor is he to curse the Israelites, as he explains to Balaam that they are blessed people. In the morning Balaam tells the messengers that he cannot accompany them as God has refused it, and sends the messengers back home. Upon the messengers returning without Balaam, King Balak now sends a second group of messengers comprised of higher nobility to beg Balaam to come back and curse the Israelites promising Balaam whatever reward he wishes. When the second group of messengers arrive, Balaam tells them that even if the king gave him a palace filled with silver and gold, he would still be unable to go against God's orders. He has the men to spend the night and tells them that he will speak with God again and will see if God has anything further to say about the matter. Again, God speaks to Balaam that night and tells him that he's allowed to travel back with the men, but that he is only to say and do what God tells him to do. The next morning Balaam saddles his donkey and went with the messengers, and God gets angry with Balaam for leaving with them. This seems puzzling, considering that God gave Balaam permission the previous evening, but it is thought that Balaam's eagerness is what angers God, despite that the bible does not imply this at all. The way this chapter reads, it appears that God changes his mind about Balaam leaving with the men and gets angry with Balaam for leaving, which is not any fault on Balaam's part. So God places an angel armed with a sword along the path that Balaam is traveling. Balaam's donkey sees the angel armed with a sword and turns off of the path heading off into a field. Balaam angry at the donkey leaving the path beats the donkey until it returns back to the path. The angel then moves farther up the path between two walls in a vineyard. The donkey again sees the angel armed with a sword and tries to squeeze tightly against the wall to avoid the angel, in the process crushing Balaam's foot against the wall. Balaam once again beats the donkey to correct it's path. Once again the angel moved farther up the path to an area leaving no room for the donkey to maneuver around it. When the donkey saw the angel blocking the path, the donkey lay down. Balaam became furious and beat the donkey a third time with his staff. God then makes the donkey talk which for some reason doesn't seem to alarm Balaam at all. Now we've read a lot of crazy stuff so far, and while this isn't the first time we've encountered talking animals, I have to admit that this is probably one of the silliest and most far fetched things we've encountered thus far. I understand that the bible can be taken many different ways. More sensible people tend to interpret a lot of the sillier verses in the bible to be taken more along the lines of parables, and that the focus is to teach a story with exaggerated flourishes. However, there are also quite a few people who believe that the bible is "inerrable fact", (some even going so far as to suggest that the bible is somehow a "history book") including our tale here about Balaam's talking donkey. The mental gymnastics one would have to perform to justify the belief that Balaam's talking donkey was an actual historical event is just mind boggling to me. Why isn't Balaam showing any hint of shock or surprise that an animal he's presumably owned for quite some time is now suddenly talking to him? Do we presume that due to his lack of surprise that perhaps he's spoken with his donkey before? Anyways, the donkey asks an unshaken Balaam what she did to deserve getting beaten three times. Balaam gives a puzzling answer stating that he felt that he was being mocked by the donkey's disobedience, while adding that if he had a sword on him, he would have slain the donkey for this apparent "mockery". The donkey points out that she has never behaved like this or deliberately disobeyed her master in the past, to which Balaam concedes is true. At this point, God "opens the eyes" of Balaam allowing him to see the angel armed with a sword - as apparently we're left to surmise that only the donkey was able to see the angel previously. The angel turns the tables on Balaam and asks Balaam why he had beaten his donkey three times. Another bothersome contradiction within this story arises when we are faced with the angel condemning Balaam for beating his donkey. God has previously condoned beating slaves both in the story of Sarah beating a pregnant Hagar, as well as Exodus 21:20-21 allowing for slaves to be beaten - as long as they don't die within one or two days - as they are considered property. By all accounts, Balaam's donkey should be considered his property as well, so God's angel should have no problem with Balaam beating his donkey for disobedience either. Personally, I actually agree with the angel here, that Balaam's actions of beating a defenseless animal were actually "perverse" and deplorable, but again, this isn't consistent with God's accepting view of beating human slaves, who are deemed property to their masters, the same as an animal. Anyways, again the angel states that he would have slain Balaam with his sword because he found Balaam's actions "perverse", which basically gives Balaam a taste of his own medicine - threatening Balaam's life, the same as he had threatened the donkey's. Balaam sees the error of his ways, and admits to having "sinned", rationalizing that he had done so because he was unaware of the angel's presence. He then tells the angel that he will turn around and go back home if he has displeased the angel that much. The angel instead tells him to continue on his journey, but to only say what he is told to say by God. Meanwhile, upon hearing of Balaam's impending arrival, King Balak goes out to meet Balaam on the outskirts of Moab. When Balaam arrives, King Balak admonishes Balaam's hesitation and delay. Balaam responds by stating that although he has agreed to come, that he has no power to say anything except what God has told him to speak. The king then sacrifices some oxen and sheep, giving the animal remains to Balaam and the messengers who accompanied him. The next morning, the king takes Balaam up to the top of Mount Baal, where the people of Israel could be seen spread out before them.

EXODUS: Chapters 33 & 34

Chapter 33
Summary:	God tells Moses to lead the people of Israel towards the "promised land", and again tells him that an angel will drive out the tribes living there. God then tells Moses that he will not travel amongst the people of Israel, calling them stubborn and unruly*, and that he would be tempted to destroy them. When the people heard God's threat they went into mourning and stripped themselves of their jewelry and fancy clothes. God apparently tells Moses to command them to remove their jewelry, leaving these two verses in doubt as to whose idea it was. Either way, the Israelis wore no jewelry from this point on. Moses erected the tabernacle tent far outside of the camp wherever they went. Whenever Moses went to the tabernacle, the people would rise and stand at their tent doors watching until he reached the entrance. As he entered, a pillar of cloud would appear at the door while God spoke to Moses. The people would then bow and worship the cloud from their tent doorways. Inside Moses would speak to God face to face, and afterwards would return to the camp, but leaving his assistant Joshua behind. Moses asked God to clearly guide him towards the "promised land", and that if God would not accompany them, then the people would not move from this spot. He further explains that if God does not accompany them, how will others know that the Israelis are "different" from any other people of the earth. God agrees to do as Moses asked, and in turn Moses asks to see God's glory. God tells Moses that he will make his "goodness" pass before him and will announce the meaning of his name, but that Moses cannot see the glory of his face, as man may not see him and live. However, God tells Moses to stand on a rock beside him, and that when his glory goes by, he will cover Moses' face with his (God's) hand until he has passed, then will remove his hand and will let Moses see his back as he passes.
Notes:	1.) The King James version uses the term "stiffnecked" here.
Thoughts:	God, apparently still brooding over that whole golden calf business from Chapter 32, tells Moses that he will not travel with the Israelis to the "promised land" because it would be too tempting to kill them all. Apparently God lacks self restraint and seems to have little patience, tolerance, or compassion towards his chosen people. The odd thing here is that Moses is painted here in a far more compassionate and loving light than God is. Here, Moses knows that his people can be a bunch of imperfect screw-ups and as opposed to God, he knows that outright killing them is not the answer (refer to Exodus: Chapter 32 where Moses talks God out of slaying them all), and nor is abandoning them. Here it appears that Moses is actually a better leader than God himself, or at the very least has far more compassion, patience, and understanding towards his fellow man. Despite Moses murdering an Egyptian in revenge for striking a Hebrew slave and commanding the Levites to slaughter 3,000 of their own people, Moses' death count is still well below God's - despite that God has had a several thousand year headstart, his high kill counts occur in spans of less than a year (the mass Genocide in Genesis: Chapter 7 with the flood, and the mass murder committed in the destruction of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah in Genesis: Chapter 19). Next up we have an unclear account of why the Israelis stopped wearing jewelry. Verse four makes it seem like the people themselves stopped wearing their jewelry by their own free will, where verse five shows us that God had actually commanded that the people remove their jewelry as a punishment. While we can conclude that it ultimately was God's decision and a small punishment of his, it's curious as to why verse four is written as such to make it appear as if the people removed their jewelry out of remorse for their "bad behavior". Perhaps the people may have realized their "bad behavior" after God's punishment, or at least the extent of how they upset God, but verse four seems to imply that the people imposed this punishment upon themselves. Moses then tells God that if he's not going to travel with them, then the people aren't going to move from this spot. God relents when Moses explains that if God isn't traveling amongst them, then how will their enemies realize that they're a "different" people, and presumably "better than them", without God's presence. Finally Moses asks to see the glory of God's face, which God refuses on the grounds that mortals looking upon his face will surely die. Instead, God curiously decides to put his hand over Moses' eyes as he passes by and lets Moses see his backside as he passes him. This may just be one of the silliest verses we've read so far, at least since The Tower of Babel story.
Chapter 34
Summary:	God now tells Moses to prepare two stone tablets - just like the ones he sort of broke earlier - to write the ten commandments upon again. He tells Moses to be ready to climb the mountain in the morning to retrieve them, adding that no-one is to accompany him, nor shall they come anywhere near the mountain - including stray animals. In the morning, Moses returned to Mount Sinai with the two stone tablets. God descended upon the mountain in the form of a cloud, passing in front of Moses, and announced the meaning of his name. He tells Moses that he is Yahweh, the merciful and gracious god, slow to anger, and rich in steadfast love and truth. Yahweh continues by saying that he shows this "steadfast love" to many thousands by forgiving their sins, and that he refuses to clear the guilty, requiring a father's sin to be punished to his sons and grandsons, and further generations. Moses once again begs God to accompany the Israelis to the "promised land", to which God again agrees. He makes a pact with Moses, stating that he will perform a bunch of mighty miracles so that the people of Israel will see his power, and that Moses' part of the agreement is to obey all of the commandments. God continues on telling Moses again that he will drive out the Amorites, Canaanites, Hittites, Perizzites, Hevites, and Jebusites. He warns Moses not to compromise with the inhabitants living in the "promised land", stating that if he does then soon he will be following their "evil ways". He tells Moses instead that he is to destroy their heathen altars and destroy their idols, for the people of Israel are only to worship Yahweh. God tells Moses that they are not to make any peace treaties of any kind with the people living in the land, calling them "spiritual whores" for sacrificing to other gods. He also forbids them from taking any of their daughters as wives, as they will make the sons of Israel go "whoring after" other Gods. God then reminds Moses not to forget about celebrating the Feast of Unleavened Bread, and repeats his mantra about every first born male belonging to him. He tells Moses again that the firstborn colt of a donkey may be redeemed by substituting a lamb, but that if one chooses not to redeem it, then its neck must be broken. He adds that no one shall appear before God without a gift. God now repeats his commandment about the sabbath, and follows it up with his laws about the three annual pilgrimages. God adds that no one will attack or conquer their land while they appear before God, as God will drive out the nations before them and enlarge their boundaries. God reminds Moses not to use leavened bread in any ritual sacrifices, nor is any of the Passover lamb to be kept for the following day. God also repeats that the people must bring the best of their first crops, and also that a young goat must not be cooked in its mother's milk. God tells Moses to write down these laws (again?) as they will be the terms of the covenant between God and the people of Israel. Moses was up on the mountain again for forty days and forty nights, in which time he did not either or drink anything. God rewrote the ten commandments on the new tablets and sent Moses back down the mountain. Unbeknown to Moses, his face glowed from being in the presence of God. Because of the radiant glow upon Moses face, Aaron and the people of Israel were frightened to go any where near him, yet Moses called for Aaron and the leaders of Israel before him. Afterwards all the people of Israel gathered before Moses and he gave them the Ten Commandments. When Moses finished speaking with the people he placed a veil over his face, which he removed each time he went into the tabernacle to speak directly with God. He would leave the veil off as he passed on the instructions God so that the people would see his face aglow with the glory of God. Afterwards he would put the veil back on until he returned to speak with God again.
Thoughts:	God has Moses get two more stone tablets to write the ten commandments on and to replace the ones Moses had broken earlier. He tells Moses to swing by in the morning to pick them up, while warning him that he is to come alone - adding that no one, man or animal is to even go near the mountain. When Moses arrives, God takes the form of a pillar of clouds and tells Moses about the meaning of his name, Yahweh. He suspiciously describes himself as "merciful", "gracious", and "slow to anger" - which run contrary to what the bible has described so far about God's temperament. Mercy was not shown to the millions (more probably actually billions) of innocent infants, children, and animals drowned in the flood story in Genesis: Chapter 7, nor towards the millions of firstborn sons he killed in Egypt in Exodus: Chapter 11 - these are not examples of "mercy" by any stretch of the imagination. God's claims of showing "steadfast love" by forgiving people's sins seems to run contrary to his claim right afterwards that he refuses to clear the guilty. God seems to forget that Moses committed murder in Egypt (killing an Egyptian who knocked down a Hebrew slave) and that God himself, almost killed Moses for simply not having his son circumcised in Exodus: Chapter 4. His claims of guilt being inherited by further generations of the offender are still as ridiculously absurd as they were when he claimed this in the book of Genesis. God then tells Moses that when they arrive in the "promised land" that they are to smash all the inhabitants "heathen" altars and their religious idols, as he doesn't want the Israelis to be contaminated or tempted by some "false" religion. Religious and cultural intolerance is also not a good indicator of "mercy" or "compassion" either. In fact God doesn't even want the Israelis to enact any kind of peace treaties with the inhabitants, and especially not to marry their "spiritually whoring" daughters, as they'll only contaminate the people of Israel with their false gods. Once again, misogyny and bigotry rears its ugly head, implying that these people - especially the young women - are subhuman and irredeemable. God repeats to Moses a few of his favorite mantras including animal sacrifice for the firstborn, that sheep can be substituted for donkeys (but if not, then break the donkey's neck!), and that no one is to appear before God without some sort of gift for him - apparently God is very materialistic. He repeats his sermon about not working on Saturdays and about the annual pilgrimages he expects. He tacks on that no enemy armies will be able to attack or invade the Israelis during these festivals, as God will personally enlarge the boundaries and drive out any attackers. God continues repeating previous statements to Moses about: not using yeast in any bread products used for sacrifices, that the passover goat meat is not to be eaten the following day, that the first of the crops belong to God, and the ever so charming rule of thumb not to boil a baby goat in its mother's milk. God makes Moses write all this stuff down again, and Moses stays up on the mountain for forty days and nights without eating or drinking, presumably as God puts Moses into some kind of suspended animation for the elapsed time. God gives Moses the new tablets containing the ten commandments, and unbeknownst to Moses, his face is shining and glowing from having been in the presence of God. Apparently Moses' new shiny look scares the dickens out of the people of Israel, so Moses decides to start wearing a veil, which he later begins to take off every time he speaks with God, in order to ensure that he soaks up a bit more godly-sheen. He gives the people the ten commandments and manages not to smash these two tablets to bits.

EXODUS: Chapter 23

Chapter 23
Summary:	Even more of God's rules: Do not pass along untrue reports. Do not cooperate with an evil man by affirming on the witness stand something you know is false. Don't join mobs intent on evil. When on the witness stand, do not be swayed by the majority present, and do not slant your testimony in favor of a man because he is poor. If you happen by an enemy's ox or donkey that has strayed away, you must take it back to its owner. If you see your enemy trying to get his donkey onto its feet beneath a heavy load, you must not go on by, but must help him. A man's poverty is no excuse for twisting judgment against him. Keep far away from falsely charging anyone with evil and never let an innocent person be put to death. I will not acquit the wicked. Don't take bribes, a bribe hurts the cause of the person who is right. Do not oppress foreigners; as you, the people of Israel, were foreigners in the land of Egypt*. Sow and reap your crops for six years, but let the land rest for the seventh year. Let the poor amongst you harvest any volunteer crop that may come up, leave the rest for your animals to enjoy. The same rule applies to vineyards and olive groves. Work six days only and rest on the seventh. This is to give your animals a rest, as well as the people of your household - your slaves and visitors. Obey these instructions and never mention the name of any other god - either in prayer, or in taking an oath. There are three annual pilgrimages you must make: Pilgrimage of Unleavened Bread: for seven days you are not to eat bread made with yeast. This celebration is an annual event in March, the month you left Egypt. Everyone must bring a sacrifice at this time Harvest Pilgrimage: When you must bring me the first of your crops. Pilgrimage of Ingathering: This occurs at the end of the harvest season. At these three times, every man of Israel shall appear before God. No sacrificial blood shall be offered with leavened bread; no sacrificial fat shall be left unoffered until the next morning. As you reap each of your crops, bring me the choicest sample of your first day's harvest; it is to be offered to God. Do not boil a young goat in its mother's milk. I will be sending an angel before you to lead you safely to the land I have promised you. Reverence him and obey him, for he will not pardon your transgression. If you are careful to obey him, then I shall be an enemy to your enemies. My angel will go before you and bring you into the land of the Amorites, Hittites, Perizzites, Canaanites, Hivites, and Jebusites. I shall destroy those people before you. You must not worship the gods of these other nations, nor sacrifice to them in any way. You must not follow the example of these heathens; you must utterly conquer them and break down their shameful idols. You shall serve God only, then I shall bless you with food and water, and remove your sicknesses. There will be no miscarriages or barrenness throughout your land, and you will live out the full quota of your life. The terror of God shall fall upon all the people who's land you invade and they will flee before you. I will send hornets to drive out the Hivites, Canaanites, and Hittites from before you. I will not do it all in one year, for the land would become a wilderness, and the wild animals would become too many to control. I will drive them out a little at a time, until your population has increased enough to fill the land. I will set your boundaries from the Red Sea to the Philistine coast, and from the southern deserts as far as the Euphrates River. I will cause you to defeat the people now living in the land, and you will drive them out ahead of you. You shall make no covenant with them, nor have anything to do with their gods. Don't let them live among you, for I know they will infect you with their sin of worshiping false gods - and that would be an utter disaster for you.
Notes:	1.) Essentially God is repeating himself from Chapter 22. Exodus 22:21 says virtually the same thing as Exodus 23:9, substituting "stranger" with "foreigner".
Thoughts:	Essentially, this chapter is mostly God's rules for dealing with other people, foreigners, and those deemed "evil". Interesting to me, is verse 7, which God tells the people to stay away from "falsely charging others with evil" and to "never put an innocent person to death", which runs contrary to "presuming" that a man defending his home from a daytime burglar is automatically guilty of murder (see Chapter 22). The biggest problem here is that human judgment is not perfect and can be flawed. We know that even today with some of the best criminal forensic sciences that occasionally we have imprisoned innocent people. Modern DNA testing has exonerated several incarcerated people for crimes that they had been jailed for, and sometimes even been sentenced to die for. Occasionally, we've even found out too late that we've killed an innocent person. The problem here is that God is demanding a lot of deaths here for a lot of "sins" and/or "crimes", that are supposed to be judged and executed by human beings. According to earlier chapters, we're told that God does indeed have the power to execute individuals - he killed both of Judah's sons Er and Onan in Genesis: Chapter 38 deeming Er to be "wicked" and killing Onan for not having proper sex with Er's wife. So why is God leaving executions in the hands of people, whom even with the best intentions, may make mistakes and kill the innocent, instead of being the executioner himself? On top of that, he threatens the people not to execute the innocent when presumably he should know better that we are imperfect, and are capable of wrongful convictions - just as our justice system sometimes does today. God continues on with his rules, oddly repeating his rules on strangers/foreigners that he made the previous chapter, and his rules about observing the sabbath. God makes it clear that these rules are to be obeyed, and for good measure he repeats that the people are not to recognize, or even mention the names of, other gods. He repeats his instructions about how to celebrate the annual holidays and how to conduct the animal sacrifices God demands - including such tips such as not to boil a baby goat in its mother's milk. He then tells the people than an angel will be leading their way into the promised land, and that if the people obey the angel that it will help destroy the current inhabitants of the lands. I find this hard to reconcile with the modern description many Christians give of their religion as being a "peaceful" one. If God promises you a piece of land, then it is okay to destroy the people who are living there right now(?) - which I suppose, we shouldn't be having sympathy for, as God further describes them as "heathens", and that the people are to destroy all their religious idols when they arrive to destroy them. God tells the people that if they obey, then they'll be blessed with food and water, God will take care of their illnesses, and their pregnancies will be free of complications and miscarriages, and no woman shall be barren. He continues to tell the people of how he will drive the current inhabitants out little by little, until the Israelis are a great enough number to come in and invade. God sees no chance of any of these people being "saved" or "redeemed" and tells the Israelis not to let any of these people live amongst them, as apparently they're hopelessly "wicked" and cannot be converted. He tells the Israelis that these people will "infect" them with their "false gods" and that would spell the Israelis doom - presumably at God's hand. Honestly, to me this sounds like God is doing a lot of profiling and stereotyping without concern for people as individuals. Much like he's done with the Egyptians in previous chapters, he's villainized the Hivites, Canaanites, and the Hittites and implied that not a single one of them are redeemable. God is not here to spread his message of love and joy for all to follow, he is here to let one chosen group of people dominate and destroy whoever gets in their way. As God's laws are written out, it wouldn't matter if a Canaanite saw God's glory and wanted to worship him and live amongst the Israelis, he's doomed to be destroyed by virtue of his location and his lack of luck for not being a descendant of Jacob/Israel. Personally, I find this a very elitist way of approaching supposedly God's own people - as he has allegedly created us all - and only furthers the notion that either God is not an all loving creator, or that we're dealing with a man made entity that a tribe of people created to elevate themselves to a higher status among other people of the time.

GENESIS: Chapters 32 & 33

Chapter 32
Summary:	Jacob and his household continued on to Canaan and was met along the way by God's angels. When Jacob saw them he concluded that God lived there and named the place "God's Territory". Jacob sent messengers to his brother Esau in Edom telling him that he had been staying with Uncle Laban for the past 20 years, became wealthy with livestock and slaves, and informs his brother that he's coming and that he's hoping Esau will be friendly to him. The messengers returned with the news that Esau was on his way to meet Jacob with an army of 400 men. Jacob now terrified, divided his flocks and slaves into two groups, surmising that if Esau attacks one group that the other could flee to safety. He then prays for God's protection, and also puts together a welcoming gift for Esau consisting of: 200 Nanny Goats 20 billy goats 200 ewes 20 rams 30 milk camels (with their colts) 40 cows 10 bulls 20 female donkeys 10 male donkeys Jacob instructs his servants to drive them on ahead, each group of animals separated by a distance. He tells the first group that when the meet Esau they were to tell him that these flocks belong to his servant Jacob and are a gift for his master Esau, and to also tell him that Jacob is coming up right behind them. He gave the same instructions to each group and sent the flocks ahead while he stayed behind staying the night in camp. However, during the night Jacob got up and woke up his wives and concubines along with his children, and took them across the Jordan River. When he returned to camp alone, a Man* began wrestling with Jacob, and wrestled with him until dawn. When the man saw that he couldn't win the match, he struck Jacob's hip, knocking it out of joint at its socket*. The man demanded to be let go as dawn was approaching, but Jacob replied that he wouldn't let the man go until he had blessed Jacob. The man asked Jacob his name, and then told him that his name was no longer Jacob. He told Jacob that his name was now Israel (meaning "One who has power with God"). When Jacob/Israel asked the man for his name, the man refused to tell him stating that he shouldn't ask that, and then the man blessed him. Jacob named the place "Peniel" (meaning "The Face of God") seeing as he had seen the face of God and had lived to tell it. The sun rose as he started on and he walked away with a limp due to his hip.
Notes:	1.)The word Man is implied to be God by the capitalization of the word. 2.) Due to this story, the people of Israel refuse to eat the sciatic muscle where it attaches to the hip.
Thoughts:	Jacob continues his trend of naming places after his visions of God at both the beginning and end of the chapter. For reasons unclear, Jacob decides to announce his presence to his brother Esau as he's traveling back to his home land. When his messengers return with the news that Esau is coming to meet him - with an army of 400, Jacob understandably begins to get a bit frightened. He decides to split up his flock (and slaves) into two groups, hoping that if he's attacked then at least one half of his flock and his slave collection will survive the attack. He then prays for God's protection, and then shows that there is a least a small doubt in his faith - he figures a little bribery couldn't hurt, and prepares some gifts for his brother Esau. He sends the gift up ahead of himself, but instead of following along, he sends his wife, concubines, and his children across the Jordan River and returns back to his camp - and then things get weird. I mean, really weird. In a paragraph that seems more like a peyote trip than a divine story, a man has appeared at Jacobs camp - without any explanation as to how he got there, where he came from, and what his intentions were. However, we the readers are to understand that this is God in the form of this Man by the fact that we're seeing that the word "Man" is capitalized. Jacob and the Man inexplicably begin wrestling with each other (also for reasons unclear) with Jacob gaining the upper hand. When the Man saw that he couldn't win(?) he goes for the cheap shot and strikes Jacob's hip hard enough to knock it out of its socket. Why we are lead to believe that the almighty creator of the universe can't win a simple wrestling match against a mere mortal like Jacob is beyond me, as is the entire point of wrestling with a god as it is. Apparently a busted hip still doesn't stop Jacob from hanging in the match, and the Man demands that Jacob let him go, as dawn is approaching - as perhaps, maybe the man is a vampire or something(?) - but Jacob refuses to let go until the Man/Count Yahweh blesses him. Ignoring his alleged omniscience, the Man asks Jacob for his name and then tells him that he is no longer to be known as Jacob, but is now to be called Israel - noting that it loosely means "the guy who delivered the Smackdown to God", or "Because Stone Cold Israel Said So". When Jacob asks the man for his name, in a bizarre fairytale-like response, the Man tells him that he mustn't ask. The defeated Man then blesses Jacob/Israel and Jacob/Israel lets him go. He limps along and names his location after his Heavyweight Championship Title Match Victory, and that like his estranged Aunt Hagar, he saw the face of God and had lived. Perhaps it is just me, but I think too much importance is placed upon seeing the face of God and being shocked at living to tell about it. While it's probably notable that few people in the bible do get the honor of seeing God face to face, I don't see the connection to the fear of "instant death" that they're expecting.
Chapter 33
Summary:	Far in the distance Jacob sees Esau approaching with his army, and he arranges his family into a single file - with his two concubines at the front with their children, followed by Leah and her children, and lastly Rachel and Joseph at the back of the line. Jacob then went ahead to meet his brother. When he approached Esau, he bowed low before him seven times. Esau ran to Jacob embracing and kissing him, bringing both brothers to tears. Jacob introduced Esau to his family, with each group (his concumbines, Leah, and Rachel with their children) bowing before Esau. Esau then asked what the flocks were for, and upon being told they were gifts he initially refuses them telling Jacob that he has plenty already. Jacob insisted, and Esau relented and finally accepted them. Esau then offers to have him and his men lead the way back to Canaan, but Jacob replies that the smaller children and the young of the flock can't be pushed too hard, and that Esau's men should go on ahead while Jacob's family and flock follow at their own pace. When Esau suggested that he should at least leave some of his men to travel with Jacob, serving as aides and guides, Jacob flatly refuses. Esau started back to Seir, while Jacob and his household made it as far as Succoth. There he built himself a camp with pens for his flocks (explaining that this is what the name "Succoth" means - being "huts"). Then they arrived safely at Shechem, in Canaan, and camped outside the city. He bought the land from the family of Hamor, Schechem's father, for 100 pieces of silver. There he erected an altar and called it "El-Elohe-Israel" - meaning "The Altar to the God of Israel".
Thoughts:	After a teary family reunion amongst the two brothers, we're still left to see that there's a bit of distrust between their intentions - but perhaps that's a given after that whole "sell me your birthright for a bowl of soup routine" from Chapter 25 and following that up with the "lets trick my blind father into giving me my older brother's blessings" from Chapter 27. Jacob (strangely not referred to as Israel yet, despite the name change God gave him) opts to travel behind Esau at a slower pace and refuses to let Esau's troops stay behind to help. He eventually arrives at Shechem and buys a spot of land and builds an altar to God there.

GENESIS: Chapters 24 & 25

Chapter 24
Summary:	Abraham was now a very old man, yet blessed by God in every way. He asked his head servant to promise not to allow his son Isaac to marry a local Canaanite girl, instructing the servant to instead travel to Abraham's homeland to find a wife for Isaac there. The servant asked Abraham as to whether he should bring Isaac to live amongst his relatives if he should find that he cannot find a girl willing to travel the far distance to Canaan. To which Abraham emphatically warns against, stating that this land has been given to him by God for Isaac. He tells the servant that God will send an angel ahead of him that will see to it that that the servant will find a girl to be Isaac's wife. He tells the servant that if he does not succeed, then he is free from his promise, but under no circumstances is he to take Isaac there. The servant packed samples of the best of Abraham's wealth along with ten of Abraham's camels and journeyed to Iraq to Nahor's village. When he arrived he parked the camels next to a spring and asked God to give him a sign to help him pick out the right girl for Isaac. Knowing that the girls of the village would be fetching water from this spring, he sets out a criteria for God to fulfill for him: he states that whenever a girl approaches the spring to fetch some water, he will ask them if they could spare some water for himself; if God "guides" the girl to not only agree, but to offer some water to the camels, the servant will be affirmed that God has chosen this girl for Isaac. Sure enough a beautiful young girl named Rebekah (the daughter of Bethuel, son of Nahor and his wife Milcah) arrives with a water jug and upon the being asked, agrees to give some water to the servant, and offers to water the camels also. After the camels were finished drinking he gave her a golden earring and a pair of golden bracelets and inquired to whose daughter she was and whether her father could put him up for the night. When she told him who her father was, the servant pauses to thank God for leading him to his master's relatives. When the girl went home to tell her family, her brother Laban saw the golden jewelry and heard her story. He rushed out towards the spring and invited the servant back to their home. After they settled the servant and his camels in, and as they were about to serve dinner, the servant insisted on explaining his visit before the meal. He explains to them*. what Abraham had sent him to do, and about his prayer to God by the spring - including his "offering water to the camels" provision. He concludes that God had lead Rebekah, being family, to the servant and now asks if she will be permitted to travel back with him. Laban and Bethuel, convinced that God had brought Abraham's servant here, tell the servant to take Rebekah and allow her to marry Isaac. Rebekah's mother tries to stall the servant's departure by another ten days, but when the servant protests they both agree to ask Rebekah whether she is ready to leave. With Rebekah's okay, they sent her on her way (along with her childhood nurse) and her family blessed her with a prayer as they parted: Thou art our sister, be thou the mother of thousands of millions, and let thy seed possess the gate of those which hate them. Meanwhile, Isaac had returned to Beer-lahai-roi, and as he was out talking a walk he spotted the camels approaching. Rebekah dismounted and asked the servant who it was that was approaching to meet them. When she was told that it was Abraham's son, she covered her face with a veil. The servant then told the entire story to Isaac*. Isaac brought Rebekah into his mother's tent and she became his wife. He loved her, and she became a comfort to him after the loss of his mother.
Notes:	1.) The bible has the servant recount the entire exchange adnauseum. 2.) Thankfully, the bible does not repeat the story in full for a third time.
Thoughts:	This chapter begins by yet again reinforcing the stigma that geography and ethnicity determines a person's worth, virtues, morality, and class. Abraham immediately elevates every female citizen from his birth place to a higher status than every single Canaanite. Sadder still, is to know that in our modern society this kind of prejudice was common place only decades ago, and still to a smaller extent continues to exist. Catholic parents don't want their sons to marry a Jewish girl; protestant parents don't want their daughters to marry a catholic; white (or other race) parents don't want their children to marry someone of a different race; etc. People are unfairly judged as a whole instead of as individuals by their race, their hometown, their choice of religion (or their lack thereof), and are instead lumped into groups weighted with predefined judgments against them. Following this, we then travel along with Abraham's head servant and read the silliest description of a "sign from God" - that if a girl offers to give water to the servant's camels that she was somehow persuaded by God (or chosen by God) to do so? In the chapter it isn't clear whether God confirms that he'll even play along with this request that the servant prayed for which pretty much makes the criteria seem about as reliable as a fortune cookie or one of those Magic 8-ball novelty gifts. Anyways, the girl who guesses what's behind Door #2 turns out to be Abraham's niece, so it appears that should appease Abraham's scrutiny and keep things in the family.
Chapter 25
Summary:	Abraham married again, this time to a woman named Keturah who bore him the following children (and their descendants): Zimran Jokshan: Sheba Dedan: Asshurim Letushim Leummim Medan Midian: Ephah Epher Hanoch Abida Eldaah Ishbak Shuah Abraham deemed everything he owned to Isaac, however he gave gifts to the sons of his concubines and sent them away to the east away from Isaac. Abraham died at the age of 175* and his sons Isaac and Ishmael buried him in the cave of Mach-pelah near Mamre, in the field that Abraham had purchased from Ephron. After Abraham's death, God poured out rich blessings upon Isaac, who had now moved south to Beer-lahai-roi in the Negeb. Ishmael lived until the age of 137 and left behind 12 sons. The following is a list of Ishmael's twelve sons (who founded the twelve tribes that bore their names) by the orders of their births: Nebaioth Kedar Abdeel Mibsam Mishma Dumah Massa Hadad Tema Jetur Naphis Kedemah These descendants of Ishmael were scattered across the country from Havilah to Shur (which is northeast of the Egyptian border towards Assyria) and were constantly at war with one another. Isaac was forty years old when he married Rebekah, and after twenty years of remaining childless and pleading to God to grant them a child, she finally became pregnant with twins whom she could feel fighting within her womb. Troubled by this she consulted God about her pregnancy in which he replied that the sons in her womb would become fierce rivaling nations. He continued to explain that the older son would become a servant to the younger. The first born twin was born covered in thick red hair and was named Esau, while the younger twin was born clutching Esau's heel and was named Jacob (meaning "grabber"). As the twins grew, Esau became a skilled hunter while Jacob was more of a quiet type, who preferred to stay at home. Isaac's favorite was Esau, for the venison he brought home, while Rebekah favored Jacob. One day Esau returned from an exhausting day of hunting to find Jacob at home cooking a stew. Famished, Esau begged his brother to share his stew. Jacob agreed on the condition that Esau defaulted his birthright to him. In desperation from hunger, Esau saw little value in the birthright he had just surrendered to Jacob and accepted the meal that Jacob fed him.
Notes:	1.) This is not a typo. The bible lists Abraham's actual age at death as 175 years old.
Thoughts:	Another poorly laid out chapter that intermingles long lists of descendants (most of whom will not be mentioned much further) with narrative stories. What we walk away with is that Abraham finally dies at age 175(!) - and despite the brief mention of his wife (concubine) Keturah and her children - we're meant to focus on Isaac (and finish off Ishmael's part of the story). The focus of the story has now shifted away from Abraham's life and onto the lives of Isaac and his twin sons. From our meager introductions to Esau and Jacob bargaining over their birthrights versus a hearty stew, we can deduce that either Esau is probably not the sharpest tool in the shed, or that Jacob is simply one hell of a cook.

GENESIS: Chapters 18 & 19

Chapter 18
Summary:	Abraham sat at the opening of his tent when he saw three men approaching him. He sprang to his feet to welcome them and insisted that they stop to rest while he fetched them some food and some water to soak their feet. Abraham ran back to his tent telling Sarah to make some cakes using her best flour, and then ran of to one of his shepherds telling him to slaughter the fattest calf he could find. He brought the three men some milk, cheese, and fresh veal and sat beside them as they ate. The three men asked him, "Where is your wife, Sarah?" To which Abraham replied that she was in the tent*. God then tells Abraham (God had taken the form of one of these three men - the other two being angels - to visit with Abraham) that he will give him and Sarah a son next year, which made Sarah who was overhearing the conversation laugh. God asked why Sarah was laughing and proclaimed that nothing was impossible for God, and repeated that Sarah and Abraham would be given a son next year. Sarah out of fear claimed that she didn't laugh, but God called her out on her lie. The three men then rose and began heading off toward the city of Sodom, with Abraham in tow. God debates on whether he should tell Abraham his plan, and then informs Abraham that he is headed to the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah - as he has heard that the people there are utterly evil - and that he wants to know if those reports are true or not. While the two angels headed towards Sodom, God hangs back for a while with Abraham. 18:23 "And Abraham drew near, and said, Wilt thou also destroy the righteous with the wicked?" Abraham asks God whether he's going to kill everyone in Sodom, good and bad alike, adding to the question with what if he finds 50 good people in the city, would he not spare the city for their sake. Abraham notes that God would be treating both the godly and the wicked alike, and adding that the judge of all the earth should be a fair one. God replies and confirms that if he does find 50 godly people in Sodom he will spare the city. In an exchange sounding more like a Marx Brothers routine than a divinely written passage, Abraham haggles further lowering the number incrementally from 45, to 40, to 30, to 20, to 10, each time with God answering that he would spare the city if he found the said amount of godly people. God then went on his way to Sodom while Abraham returned to his tent.
Notes:	1.) It's unclear whether or not by this point if (or when for that matter) Abraham recognized the three men as being God accompanied by two angels. Abraham's nonchalant manner seems to imply he may have understood by this point, but the meal offering seems bizarre in this context.
Thoughts:	There's a lot of strange things going on in this chapter that are puzzling. As noted above in my footnotes, exactly when does Abraham realize that the three men he sees walking towards him are in fact God accompanied by a pair of angels? If he does recognize them from the onset, why does he choose to feed them and fetch some water for their feet? If he doesn't catch on right away does he figure it out when God asks where Sarah is? If not, why doesn't he inquire as to how this man knows his wife's name? What about Sarah's reaction considering she overheard at least part of this conversation, if not all of it? As far as has been shown in Genesis so far Sarah has never spoken to God directly, so how did she figure out who these "men" really were? The other troubling thing is again we have another paradox with God not being omniscient and omnipresent as he is physically scoping out the city of Sodom to figure out whether the reports(?) he's heard about the wickedness of the people is true or not. The "Marx Brothers" routine also poses a problem in the context of the flood story when we have to assume that at least one - if not many - infant and/or child existed during the time, and Abraham makes an outstanding point as to what would be the purpose (and the fairness) of treating the "godly" (or innocent) the same as the "wicked" (or the guilty)? To take things to an even more literal level, God also stated that Noah was the only righteous person alive. So did he not spare some of the wicked by sparing Noah's wife, Ham, Shem, and Japheth - thereby treating some of the wicked the same as Noah, the only godly one?
Chapter 19
Summary:	The two angels arrived at the gates of Sodom that evening and Lot was sitting there while they arrived. When he saw them he stood up to welcome them and invited them to stay the night with him at his home. Although the angels declined, Lot persisted until they agreed and made a great feast for them when they arrived. When the meal was over and they were preparing to retire for the night they found that Lot's house had been surrounded by all the men of the city - young and old alike. The Sodomites shouted to Lot demanding that he bring out his two guests, as they wished to rape them (the angels). 19:8 "Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof." Lot stepped outside to talk with the townsfolk and shut the door behind him. Lot tells the men to leave his two guests alone, and that he will offer up his two virgin daughters for the townsfolk for them to do what they wish to, but begs for the Sodomites to leave his guest alone as they are under his protection. The Sodomites refused to be swayed and threatened to do worse to Lot than with the two house guests. As they lunged at Lot and started to break down the door, the angels pulled him into the house, bolted the door behind him, and blinded the Sodomites to prevent them from finding the door. The angels instructed Lot to get his family out of the city as they explained to Lot their intentions to destroy the city as commanded by God. Lot rushed out to warn his daughter's fiancees, but the young men didn't believe him. At dawn the angels became urgent towards Lot to take his family and flee, and when he hesitated they grabbed the hands of Lot, his wife, and his daughters and rushed them to safety telling them to flee for their lives. The angels told them to flee to the mountains and to not look back towards the city. Lot protested fearing disaster in the mountains and pointed to a small village off in the distance, begging for the angels to let him go there instead. The angels agreed to let Lot and his family escape to the village, which from that point on was named Zoar, meaning "Little City"). God then rained down fire and flaming tar upon the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, utterly destroying them along with other cities in the plains, eliminating all life - people, plants, and animals alike. Lot's wife was apparently unable to resist the temptation of looking back towards the city and in retaliation, God turned her into a pillar of salt. Abraham awoke early in the morning and rushed out towards the place where he had spoken to God previously and looking across the plains, witnessed columns of smoke and fumes where the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah once stood. Afterwards Lot left Zoar fearing the inhabitants there and fled to live in a cave with his two daughters. Lot's oldest daughter complained to her sister that there wasn't a man anywhere in the area that their father would let them marry, while adding that their father would also be too old for having children soon, and hatched a plan to get their father drunk and rape him so that (hopefully) their blood line would continue. So they proceeded to get their father drunk enough to have sex with the older daughter and not remember the experience, while the younger girl did the same the following night. Both girls became pregnant and gave birth to their father's sons - Moab, the son of the eldest daughter became the ancestor of the Moabites, while Benammi, the son of the younger daughter became the ancestor of the Ammonites.
Thoughts:	There's no question that there is quite a lot to digest here in this chapter. On perhaps suggestion from and the relation to Abraham, we are lead to believe that Lot is the only true virtuous man in the entire city of Sodom. He invites and insists that our angelic travelers stay the night with him and prepares an enormous feast for them in celebration. However, while it is the author's intention to make Lot look honorable and godly by protecting his angelic company, the ball gets dropped completely when we read that he's willing to offer up his own virgin daughters to the sex crazed mob outside. His own daughters. Who are unmarried. Virgins. To every man in Sodom. To do what ever they want to them. Now I can just hear the religious apologists chiming in here, with "You have to understand that things were very different back in biblical times, and that things like beating pregnant women, men being misogynist pigs, women being considered property, and having (as well as beating) slaves was perfectly acceptable 3,000 years ago." Quite frankly, despite the fact that I find all of the above mentioned pretty sick, I think any rational person has to draw the line at a father offering his two virgin daughters to a pack of sex-crazy rapists. Perhaps you can theorize that maybe Lot offered his daughters up for a free-for-all as perhaps he knew that the townsfolk outside were only interested in raping men, but still - God turns Lot's wife into a pillar of salt for simply looking back at the destruction of the cities, and completely disregards Lot's deplorable solicitation of the virginities of both of his daughters to a pack of rapists? Back to Lot's wife, I find it awfully strange that neither Lot or his daughters turned back after noticing that mom was no longer running beside them and possibly become turned into pillars of salt themselves. Finally the chapter winds down with a bit of rape, incest, and drunkenness on behalf of Lot's daughters who somehow manage the near impossible task of getting a man drunk enough to sustain an erection, be able to ejaculate, and not remember anything in the morning - two nights in a row!