GENESIS: Chapters 16 & 17

Chapter 16
Summary:	Sarai and Abram were still having trouble conceiving a child*, so Sarai took her maid - an Egyptian girl named Hagar - and gave her to Abram as a second wife. Sarai explains that since God has not given her any children, Abram may sleep with Hagar and Sarai will take the resulting children as her own. Abrahm (not-surprisingly) agrees*. Abram sleeps with Hagar and when she realized she was pregnant, she became arrogant towards Sarai. 16:2 "And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai." Sarai complains to Abram that Hagar's arrogance is his fault* and curses Abram hoping that God will judge him for this. Abram tells Sarai that she can punish Hagar as she sees fit, so she gives Hagar a good beating, and as a result Hagar runs away. An angel of God finds her besides a desert spring along the road to Shur and demands that she return to Sarai and to act as she should. The angel tells her that the child she is carrying will be a son and that Hagar is to name him Ishmael (meaning "God hears", explaining that God hears her woes). The angel further explains that Ishmael will be rebellious and will be against everyone, just as everyone will be against him, yet he will live near the rest of his kin. Thereafter Hagar spoke directly to God and was astonished to have seen God and live to tell it. Later the well was named "The Well of the Living One Who Sees Me" (it lies between Kadesh and Bered). So Hagar gave Abram a son, and Abram named him Ishmael. Abram was 86 years old at the time.
Notes:	1.) Moreover, a male child - as girls are not considered true heirs. 2.) The bible notes that this takes place 10 years after Abram first arrived in Canaan. 3.) Despite the fact that this was Sarai's idea in the first place.
Thoughts:	It's difficult not to look at this chapter as disturbing for a number of reasons: we have Abram having sex with his wife's maid (probably a slave), we have Abram's wife beating the tar out of a pregnant woman - carrying her husband's child, and we have an angel condemning Hagar for running off even though she just got beaten by her mistress (regardless of whether her arrogance justified punishment, it's hard to justify beating a pregnant woman). It's also a bit unclear as to why God tells Hagar directly to name the child Ishmael, yet it states that Abram give the child that name. Do we assume God told Abram also to name the child Ishmael, or did Abram take Hagar's word that she spoke to God and that's the name God chose?
Chapter 17
Summary:	When Abram was 99 years old, God appeared to him and told him to obey him and live as he should, and also that he had prepared a contract between them guaranteeing to make Abram's descendants into a mighty nation - and not just one nation, but a multitude of nations. Abram fell face downward to the ground as God talked with him. He continues on to tell Abram that he is also changing his name from Abram (meaning 'Exalted Father') to Abraham (meaning 'Father of Nations'). He continues to tell Abram/Abraham that he will continue this agreement forever amongst Abram's/Abraham's descendants. 17:11 "And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you." Abram's/Abraham's part of the contract is to obey God's will, and have every male amongst him circumcised on the eighth day after being born, and that this will be proof that Abram/Abraham and his people accept the covenant. God clarifies that this also applies to every foreign born slave as well as anyone born in Abram's/Abraham's household, and that anyone who refuses will be cut off from his people. God also renames Sarai to Sarah (meaning 'Princess') and proclaims that he will bless her to provide Abram/Abraham with many children*. Abraham throws himself down in worship, but was having doubts in his thoughts thinking about how ludicrous it sounded for him to become a father at age 100* and for Sarai/Sarah to give birth at 90, so he instead says to God, "Yes, do bless Ishmael!" God corrects Abraham and clarifies that Sarah will provide him with a son, and that son is to be named Isaac (meaning 'Laughter'), but decides that he will bless Ishmael also - adding that Ishmael will become a great nation and that 12 princes will be among his posterity - before stressing that God's contract is with Isaac and not Ishmael. Abraham then went home and proceeded to circumcise every male in his household - including himself and every male slave.
Notes:	1.) Which didn't seem so ridiculous when his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather Shem had a child at the age of 100(?) 2.) Although chapter 11 states that Sarai was barren and therefore did not provide Abram any children, we can still consider that chapter correct when taking into account that God changed both Sarai and Abram's names at this point to Sarah and Abraham respectively. In that sense, Sarai and Abram didn't have any children, whereas Sarah and Abraham did.
Thoughts:	It's unclear what circumcision has to do with upholding a contract with God, and why he wants men to be circumcised in the first place. It's pretty nonsensical and seems very awkward that God is concerned with the way his people's penises look. What is to stop other tribes from circumcising their male population as well? Wouldn't the covenant be meaningless at that point? Would God strike men dead outside of Abraham's tribe for circumcising themselves? Also strange is Abraham's amusement at becoming a father at the age of 100, when the average age of the people of his time is still mentioned to be roughly around 200(!) if which taken into context with the average modern human living to be about 85, doesn't seem so strange for a man of 43 to have a child.

GENESIS: Chapter 10

Chapter 10
Summary:	Get ready to be confused as chapter ten begins by listing the descendants of Noah's three sons Shem, Ham, and Japheth: Japheth Gomer Ashkenaz Riphath Togarmah Magog Madai Tubal Meschech Tiras Javan Elishah Tarshish Kittim Dodanim Ham Cush Seba Havilah Sabtah Sabteca Raamah Sheba Dedan Mizraim Put Canaan Sidon Heth Shem Elam Asshur Arpachshad Shelah Eber Peleg Joktan Almodad Sheleph Hazarmaveth Jerah Hadoram Uzal Diklah Obal Abima-el Sheba Ophir Havi-lah Jobab Lud Aram Uz Hul Gether Mash It goes on further to state that another descendant of Cush (Ham's lineage) was Nimrod who became the first king. Nimrod rules over Babel, Erech, Accad, and Calneh and later extended his kingdom into Assyria. It also states he built Nineveh, Rehoboth-Ir, Calah, and Resen (the main city of the empire). Mizraim (also from Ham's lineage) was the ancestor of the people inhabiting Ludim, Anamin, Lehabim, Naphtuhim, Pathrusim, Casluhim (which would spawn the Philistines), and Caphtorim. Canaan descended into the nations of Jebusites, Amorites, Girgashites, Hivites, Arkites, Sinites, Arvadites, Zemarites, and Hamathites. The descendants of Canaan eventually spread from Sidon all the way to Gerar, in the Gaza strip; and to Sodom, Gomorrah, Admah, and Zeboiim. The descendants of Joktan (from Shem's lineage) lived all the way from Mesha to the eastern hills of Sephar.
Thoughts:	Okay, if you've truly managed to get this far in the book of Genesis, much less the entire bible this chapter should be enough to give you a headache. It is very poorly laid out, so I went ahead and prepared the multicolored table above listing the descendants of Japeth in blue, Ham in red, and Shem in green. Most of this information is irrelevant to the rest of the bible, and quite frankly this chapter could simply be skipped and more used as a point of reference (in the case that you might wish to figure out which city you're later reading about and as to whose descendants inhabited or founded it).

GENESIS: Chapters 8 & 9

Chapter 8
Summary:	After 150 days of flooding God sends a wind to blow across the waters and floods began to disappear. The boat comes to rest upon the mountains of Ararat, and as three more months went by other mountain tops emerged from beneath the waters. After another forty days Noah sent out a raven that basically flew around eating the carcasses of the dead animals floating on the water. He also sent out a dove to see if it could find dry ground, but the dove unable to find a place to perch returned to the boat. A week later he released the dove again and this time the dove returned with an olive leaf in its beak. After yet another week he released the dove and it didn't return. 8:21 "And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth ; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done." Another month later Noah opened the door to the boat's top deck to have a look around and saw that the water was gone, yet he holed back up for another two months until God told him he could leave the boat*. He and his family got off the boat and released all the animals - except for a select lucky few that he picked out for ritualistic animal sacrifices. Noah builds an altar and sacrifices the birds and animals he picked out for the occasion, and this pleases God. God now claims that he will never again commit mass genocide.
Notes:	1.) For those keeping score, Noah, his family, and the animals were aboard the Ark for about 9 1/2 months.
Thoughts:	It's hard to really expand upon what I've already commented upon in the previous chapter about the absurdity of the whole Noah's Ark story, but one thing I did forget to mention was factoring in the effect of the flood on plant life, how long it would take to repopulate the earth with the plants that many of these herbivores need to survive on after they're set free from the ark. The mathematics can be staggering if we try to determine the overall weights of the boat, the animals, and the feed that would be needed to sustain them all for nine months as to whether such weight could possibly even float. Also worth questioning would be how all of these animals were kept, whether in pens or in cages, separated individually or by kinds, or perhaps some were free roaming like the insects and such. A more thorough look at these sorts of problems can be found at the Skeptic's Dictionary webpage devoted to Noah's Ark at: http://skepdic.com/noahsark.html.
Chapter 9
Summary:	God blessed Noah and his sons* and told them to repopulate the earth again. He tells Noah that all wild animals, birds, and fish will now be afraid of man* and further expands upon this by reaffirming man's dominion over the animals by telling Noah that they are all there to be used as food - with the stipulation that the animal's blood must be drained first. However, he also tells Noah that any animal or man that kills a man must itself be killed* affirming that murder is to be punished by death. God promises Noah, his sons, and even the animals that Noah rescued that he will never again commit mass genocide by way of a massive flood. He goes on to say that he is sealing this promise with the rainbow* he put in the clouds, and when God sees the rainbow in the future he will remember his promise to not kill everybody again with a massive global flood. It is then stated that the descendants of Noah's three sons Shem, Ham, and Japheth went on to form all the nations of the earth. 9:21 "And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent." Noah went on in life to become a farmer and planted a vineyard. One night after Noah got pretty drunk and crazy, he stripped down naked and went to sleep it off inside his tent. His son Ham found him in the tent and was aghast to see his dad passed out naked* and went out to tell his brothers. Shem and Japheth grabbed a robe and walked into their dad's tent backwards so that they could cover their father up without having to look at his nakedness. When Noah eventually woke up, and learned what had happened and that Ham was responsible for snitching on him to his brothers, he curses the descendants of Ham's son Canaan (the Canaanites). He curses the Canaanites to become the lowliest form of slaves, and blesses both Shem and Japtheth asking God to ensure that Canaan serves as a slave to them both. Noah lives on for another 350 years after the flood dying at the ripe old age of 950.
Notes:	1.) Yet another example of sexism with the omission of Noah and his son's wives in the blessing. 2.) One would think the animals would be a bit more fearful of God after that whole flood business. 3.) Spoken from a deity that just finished committing mass genocide. 4.) A rainbow is not a physical object, but an optical effect. 5.) Nudity is once again treated as shameful.
Thoughts:	In my opinion, one of the biggest problems with the bible is that it promotes exclusionary outlooks (i.e. women are inferior to men, this group of people are "God's people", this group of people - men, women, and children - needs to be destroyed) and the same is applied towards the outlook on animals as well. Animals are basically pawns, not well respected, and God loves to have them sacrificed to him without regard to their suffering. Once again, God encourages Noah and his family the green light to kill animals how they see fit and not just purely out of need or necessity. I realize that this is a personal gripe in regards to animals which some may night agree with me on, but I do think it bears mentioning as it's interesting to draw parallels to what God's views are on people he views inferior to his chosen ones. God seems to harbor either a jealousy over his exclusive right to murder senselessly or simply doesn't realize that he sets a bad example towards the people he wants to follow him, his tendency to dish out excessive punishment seems to rub off on Noah, who after a bit of excessive drinking punishes his son Ham for what appears to be simply catching a glimpse of his father naked. Actually, I'm not quite sure that I understand what specifically Noah is condemning Ham for (my guess is that it's a no-no to see your father naked) but reacting by basically selling Ham's son Canaan into slavery seems a bit excessive (not to mention ridiculous to make Canaan pay for his father's mistake). Finally, like his ancestors before him, Noah's death (and his adventure on the Ark at age 600) conveniently ends on a nice and even number with his final age of 950.