NUMBERS: Chapter 36

Chapter 36
Summary:	The leaders of the clan of Gilead (of the clan of Machir, and of the tribe of Manasseh - son of Joseph) approached Moses and the leaders of Israel with a complaint. They complained that God had allowed the daughters of Zelophehad to inherit their father's land, yet if these girls marry someone from another tribe, then that tribe would gain that land, and the tribe of Manasseh would lose that land and wouldn't redeem it at the "Year of Jubilee". Moses conceded that the men had made a valid point and spoke to the people of Israel concerning God's verdict. Moses tells the people that the daughter of Zelophehad are to marry anyone they like - so long as they marry within their own tribe. Every daughter that inherits land upon the death of her father is only to marry within her own tribe, so that each tribe can keep their inheritance. The daughters of Zelophehad - Mahlah, Tirzah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Noah - did as commanded and only married within their own tribe of Manasseh, so that their inheritance stayed within their tribe. These are the commandments and judgments which God gave to Moses and the Israelites down in the plains of Moab, by the Jordan River, near Jericho.
Thoughts:	This brief and final chapter in the book of Numbers is a clarification of Numbers: Chapter 27, in which the daughters of Zelophehad - Mahlah, Tirzah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Noah - had inherited their father's portion of land due to their father's death without having fathered a son. The clan of Gilead complained to Moses about an oversight, arguing that if the girls married outside of their tribe of Manasseh, then the tribe of Manasseh would lose land - land that wouldn't be redeemed at the 50 year celebration of the "Year of Jubilee" - that would instead belong to their husband's tribe after marriage. Moses decides that the men have a valid point and therefore orders that the daughters of Zelophehad are only allowed to marry within their own tribe. Like Henry Ford's famous quote about the choice of colors for his automobiles ("as long as it's black"), Moses decrees that the girls are allowed to marry whomever they want - so long as they only marry within their own tribe. It's unclear how incestuous such a marriage would be within a tribe of 52,700, but it's still disturbing to contemplate nonetheless. So the daughters of Zelophehad do as Moses commanded, and it becomes a new statute that all daughters who inherit land are to marry from within their own tribe.

GENESIS: Chapter 10

Chapter 10
Summary:	Get ready to be confused as chapter ten begins by listing the descendants of Noah's three sons Shem, Ham, and Japheth: Japheth Gomer Ashkenaz Riphath Togarmah Magog Madai Tubal Meschech Tiras Javan Elishah Tarshish Kittim Dodanim Ham Cush Seba Havilah Sabtah Sabteca Raamah Sheba Dedan Mizraim Put Canaan Sidon Heth Shem Elam Asshur Arpachshad Shelah Eber Peleg Joktan Almodad Sheleph Hazarmaveth Jerah Hadoram Uzal Diklah Obal Abima-el Sheba Ophir Havi-lah Jobab Lud Aram Uz Hul Gether Mash It goes on further to state that another descendant of Cush (Ham's lineage) was Nimrod who became the first king. Nimrod rules over Babel, Erech, Accad, and Calneh and later extended his kingdom into Assyria. It also states he built Nineveh, Rehoboth-Ir, Calah, and Resen (the main city of the empire). Mizraim (also from Ham's lineage) was the ancestor of the people inhabiting Ludim, Anamin, Lehabim, Naphtuhim, Pathrusim, Casluhim (which would spawn the Philistines), and Caphtorim. Canaan descended into the nations of Jebusites, Amorites, Girgashites, Hivites, Arkites, Sinites, Arvadites, Zemarites, and Hamathites. The descendants of Canaan eventually spread from Sidon all the way to Gerar, in the Gaza strip; and to Sodom, Gomorrah, Admah, and Zeboiim. The descendants of Joktan (from Shem's lineage) lived all the way from Mesha to the eastern hills of Sephar.
Thoughts:	Okay, if you've truly managed to get this far in the book of Genesis, much less the entire bible this chapter should be enough to give you a headache. It is very poorly laid out, so I went ahead and prepared the multicolored table above listing the descendants of Japeth in blue, Ham in red, and Shem in green. Most of this information is irrelevant to the rest of the bible, and quite frankly this chapter could simply be skipped and more used as a point of reference (in the case that you might wish to figure out which city you're later reading about and as to whose descendants inhabited or founded it).

GENESIS: Chapters 8 & 9

Chapter 8
Summary:	After 150 days of flooding God sends a wind to blow across the waters and floods began to disappear. The boat comes to rest upon the mountains of Ararat, and as three more months went by other mountain tops emerged from beneath the waters. After another forty days Noah sent out a raven that basically flew around eating the carcasses of the dead animals floating on the water. He also sent out a dove to see if it could find dry ground, but the dove unable to find a place to perch returned to the boat. A week later he released the dove again and this time the dove returned with an olive leaf in its beak. After yet another week he released the dove and it didn't return. 8:21 "And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth ; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done." Another month later Noah opened the door to the boat's top deck to have a look around and saw that the water was gone, yet he holed back up for another two months until God told him he could leave the boat*. He and his family got off the boat and released all the animals - except for a select lucky few that he picked out for ritualistic animal sacrifices. Noah builds an altar and sacrifices the birds and animals he picked out for the occasion, and this pleases God. God now claims that he will never again commit mass genocide.
Notes:	1.) For those keeping score, Noah, his family, and the animals were aboard the Ark for about 9 1/2 months.
Thoughts:	It's hard to really expand upon what I've already commented upon in the previous chapter about the absurdity of the whole Noah's Ark story, but one thing I did forget to mention was factoring in the effect of the flood on plant life, how long it would take to repopulate the earth with the plants that many of these herbivores need to survive on after they're set free from the ark. The mathematics can be staggering if we try to determine the overall weights of the boat, the animals, and the feed that would be needed to sustain them all for nine months as to whether such weight could possibly even float. Also worth questioning would be how all of these animals were kept, whether in pens or in cages, separated individually or by kinds, or perhaps some were free roaming like the insects and such. A more thorough look at these sorts of problems can be found at the Skeptic's Dictionary webpage devoted to Noah's Ark at: http://skepdic.com/noahsark.html.
Chapter 9
Summary:	God blessed Noah and his sons* and told them to repopulate the earth again. He tells Noah that all wild animals, birds, and fish will now be afraid of man* and further expands upon this by reaffirming man's dominion over the animals by telling Noah that they are all there to be used as food - with the stipulation that the animal's blood must be drained first. However, he also tells Noah that any animal or man that kills a man must itself be killed* affirming that murder is to be punished by death. God promises Noah, his sons, and even the animals that Noah rescued that he will never again commit mass genocide by way of a massive flood. He goes on to say that he is sealing this promise with the rainbow* he put in the clouds, and when God sees the rainbow in the future he will remember his promise to not kill everybody again with a massive global flood. It is then stated that the descendants of Noah's three sons Shem, Ham, and Japheth went on to form all the nations of the earth. 9:21 "And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent." Noah went on in life to become a farmer and planted a vineyard. One night after Noah got pretty drunk and crazy, he stripped down naked and went to sleep it off inside his tent. His son Ham found him in the tent and was aghast to see his dad passed out naked* and went out to tell his brothers. Shem and Japheth grabbed a robe and walked into their dad's tent backwards so that they could cover their father up without having to look at his nakedness. When Noah eventually woke up, and learned what had happened and that Ham was responsible for snitching on him to his brothers, he curses the descendants of Ham's son Canaan (the Canaanites). He curses the Canaanites to become the lowliest form of slaves, and blesses both Shem and Japtheth asking God to ensure that Canaan serves as a slave to them both. Noah lives on for another 350 years after the flood dying at the ripe old age of 950.
Notes:	1.) Yet another example of sexism with the omission of Noah and his son's wives in the blessing. 2.) One would think the animals would be a bit more fearful of God after that whole flood business. 3.) Spoken from a deity that just finished committing mass genocide. 4.) A rainbow is not a physical object, but an optical effect. 5.) Nudity is once again treated as shameful.
Thoughts:	In my opinion, one of the biggest problems with the bible is that it promotes exclusionary outlooks (i.e. women are inferior to men, this group of people are "God's people", this group of people - men, women, and children - needs to be destroyed) and the same is applied towards the outlook on animals as well. Animals are basically pawns, not well respected, and God loves to have them sacrificed to him without regard to their suffering. Once again, God encourages Noah and his family the green light to kill animals how they see fit and not just purely out of need or necessity. I realize that this is a personal gripe in regards to animals which some may night agree with me on, but I do think it bears mentioning as it's interesting to draw parallels to what God's views are on people he views inferior to his chosen ones. God seems to harbor either a jealousy over his exclusive right to murder senselessly or simply doesn't realize that he sets a bad example towards the people he wants to follow him, his tendency to dish out excessive punishment seems to rub off on Noah, who after a bit of excessive drinking punishes his son Ham for what appears to be simply catching a glimpse of his father naked. Actually, I'm not quite sure that I understand what specifically Noah is condemning Ham for (my guess is that it's a no-no to see your father naked) but reacting by basically selling Ham's son Canaan into slavery seems a bit excessive (not to mention ridiculous to make Canaan pay for his father's mistake). Finally, like his ancestors before him, Noah's death (and his adventure on the Ark at age 600) conveniently ends on a nice and even number with his final age of 950.

GENESIS: Chapters 6 & 7

Chapter 6
Summary:	The beginning of the chapter starts off somewhat ambiguously. The King James version of the bible is written as such: 1: And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them, 2: That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose. 3: And the LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years. Most biblical scholars interpret these verses to mean that "the sons of God" are referring to the lineage of Seth, while the "daughters of men"* are referring to the "corrupt" lineage of Cain. God is apparently stating that his chosen folk (Seth's "good lineage") will always be attracted to evil (Cain's "evil lineage") and stray from God. Out of frustration, he is now giving them 120 years to change their ways before he gets tired of them and kills them all*. The chapter goes on to imply that the perversion of Seth's lineage mixing with Cain's caused freaks of nature (specifically mentions giants) 6:4 "There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown." , sexual depravity, and that mankind had basically become wholly wicked and evil. God begins to regret having made humans and it "broke his heart", so he decides the best way to resolve the problem is by killing everyone and everything - animals, reptiles, and birds - on the planet, except for one person - Noah. Noah apparently was the only person on the planet who tried to conduct his affairs according to God's will, so God decides to reveal his intentions to Noah about destroying mankind and instructs him to build a very large boat. By modern measurements, the boat he instructs Noah to build is about 450 feet long, 75 feet wide, and 45 feet high with three decks inside of it. God tells Noah that he's going to cover the earth with a flood that will kill every living thing on the planet, but promises to keep Noah safe on the boat along with* his wife, his sons (Shem, Ham, and Japheth) and their wives. He then asks Noah to round up a pair - male and female - of every kind of animal, bird, and reptile along with food for Noah's family and for the animals.
Notes:	1.) Again, referring to the "sons of God "as righteous and the "daughters of men" the bible is reinforcing sexism by aligning the evil with the women. Why can it not also be possible for the "sons of man" to infect the "daughters of God" with their wickedness? 2.) It is not mentioned or noted as to whether God makes his 120 year probation period known to the people or not. 3.) If we are to take God's word literally, that Noah was the only person who was not wicked, then is God not risking his plan to purge the planet of evil by sparing the lives of Noah's wife, his sons, and his son's wives - who going by God's declaration are most likely tainted with wickedness?
Thoughts:	We begin this chapter with a nice helping of sexism by pitting the "sons of God" against the "daughters of man" implying and reinforcing male superiority once again. While God realizes that his chosen boys will always be attracted to the hot evil chicks across town, he goes ahead and puts his chosen boys on a 120 year probation - where if they can manage to stop breeding with the evil babes, stop producing giants(!) and freaks, and partaking in depravity, he'll reconsider his plan to kill them all. I mentioned in one of my footnotes above that it isn't clear as to whether God let his 120 year probation scheme be known to the people or not, however upon further reflection, what exactly was the point of waiting 120 years? Was this for the people's benefit, or perhaps did God need 120 years to think things over before committing to mass genocide? It's a little difficult to discern why and what the wait is for. I've always had major problems with the method of God's mass extermination as described here when God clearly has other means and methods to exterminate people without also destroying the animals and the children and infants that must have existed at the time depicted. God has used disease and plagues throughout the bible to decimate certain factions of people he doesn't like (such as the Egyptians) while sparing those who followed his rules. To me the story seems very senseless and not at all on par with the common attributes given to God as merciful, just, and loving. The gathering of pairs of "every kind" of animal, bird, and reptile is also pretty absurd to think about in the context of the limited modes of transportation of the day, unless God somehow helped out in some way. Many animals are indigenous to certain areas of the world that would have proved difficult if not impossible for Noah to reach, much less keep the animals alive throughout the journey back to the Ark. It's hard to fathom how Noah managed to gather polar bears, koalas, penguins, amongst others unless we make exceptions to the story. Among the exceptions I've heard from religious apologists are that: the flood was only a regional flood, and not a global flood; that God could have guided or brought these animals to Noah; and/or that these animals did not exist yet (not a popular choice amongst apologists as they would have to either concede that these animals evolved from other species, or that God made them at a later time - which there isn't any support for in biblical accounts).
Chapter 7
Summary:	So the day comes when God's 120 year probation comes to an end. He tells Noah to get into the boat with his family, making it clear to Noah that he (Noah) alone is the only righteous person on the planet. He tells him to bring in all the pairs of animals too* and adds another provision - that Noah has to bring in seven pairs of animals of those God has deemed worthy for food and animal sacrifices, and seven pairs of every kind of bird. 7:4 "For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth." He gives Noah one week to complete this task, as he will make it rain for 40 days and 40 nights at this time. Noah at the spry age of 600* years boards the boat with his family and the animals as the torrents of rain fell upon the earth. The waters rose higher and higher, lifting the boat high above the earth and finally over twenty feet above the highest mountain peaks. Meanwhile every form of life on the planet that breathed air and lived on dry land* was eradicated, and water covered the earth for 150 days, almost five months.
Notes:	1.) This begs the question as to whether these animals Noah had to gather were just lounging around Noah's property, or whether he somehow had to manage to gather them up in the seven day time span before the flood. 2.) Specifically, Noah's age is listed as 600 years, two months, and 17 days old. 3.) While marine life is apparently spared, no explanation is given to how both salt water and fresh water marine life managed to survive in a mixed water system.
Thoughts:	Once again we're left with so many questions to this improbable event, it's necessity, and meaning. Over five months on a boat, manned by eight people, to care for and feed thousands of animals (not to mention to clean up after their waste products) and prevent the predators from eating the crew or their natural prey. Even if God was dead-set on destroying all life except for Noah and his family, I really can't fathom how or why an omnipotent god would choose such an inefficient method of mass genocide, and why innocent creatures along with children, babies, and infants that must have existed were exterminated along with a bunch of people that God didn't like. To me, it appears that this story was created more in regards to being powerful, riveting, and on a grand scale to wow the people ages ago rather than to be based in any sort of plausible historical event. Quite truthfully, it saddens me that there are still people who can believe this story has any sort of plausible actuality to it.

GENESIS: Chapters 4 & 5

Chapter 4
Summary:	Adam and his wife Eve conceive their first child together, a child they name Cain (meaning "I have created") - Eve throws in a side note that "with God's help" she has created a man. She later has a second son and names him Abel. Abel becomes a shepherd while Cain becomes a farmer. At harvest time both sons make offerings to God: Cain offers a gift of his best crops and Abel offers up some fatty cuts of lamb. God shows his favoritism (and that he's not much for vegetarianism) by accepting Abel's lamb chops and rejecting Cain's crops. Cain feels dejected and pissed off by God's favoritism. God asks Cain why he's so angry and tells him that he could be happy if he just "does what he should". He warns Cain that if he doesn't obey God, sin is waiting for him. So, one day Cain lures his brother out to the fields and kills him. 4:8 "And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him." God immediately asks Cain* where is Abel, to which Cain replies to the effect of "How should I know? I'm not my brother's keeper." God says that Abel's blood called to him from the ground, and hereby banishes Cain from the fields and curses the ground so that Cain will no longer be able to produce any crops. He tells Cain that he will now be a nomadic fugitive*. Cain complains that he's scared of the ramifications from the punishment, that he'll be hunted down and killed. God replies that if anybody kills Cain their punishment will be seven times worse(?) and puts a mark on Cain* leaving Cain to settle outside of God's presence* in the land of Nod (somewhere east of Eden). The story now jumps ahead to Cain having a wife and fathering his first child Enoch - to whom Cain founded a city after. The chapter jumps ahead farther now and lists a slew of Cain's descendants: Enoch (Cain's son) has a son named Irad (Cain's grandson) Irad has a son named Mehujael (Cain's great-grandson) Mehujael has a son named Methusael (Cain's great-great-grandson) Methusael has a son named Lamech (Cain's great-great-great-grandson) Lamech becomes the focus of the next paragraph, and we learn that: He had two wives - Adah and Zillah. Adah gave birth to Jabal (who becomes the first cattleman, and the first to apparently live in a tent) and Jubal (the first musician, who invented the harp and the flute*) Zillah gave birth to Tubal-cain (who becomes the first bronze and iron worker*) One day Lamech kills some kid who attacked him and claims to his wives that if anyone attacking Cain will be punished seven times, then anyone seeking revenge against him (for killing the kid) should be punished 77 times(?). The chapter closes off with mentioning that Eve had a third son named Seth (meaning "granted", as apparently she felt God granted her another son in place of Abel). When Seth grew up he had a son whom he named Enosh. It was during his lifetime that men first began calling themselves "God's people".
Notes:	1.) If God is omnipresent and omniscient, why is he asking where Abel is? 2.) From whom? At this point the only humans in existence are Adam, Eve, and Cain. 3.) Not specified what Cain's mark actually is. 4.) This is contradictory towards the notion that God is omnipresent. 5.) Being a musician myself, it is pretty well accepted that the first musical instruments were most likely drums and percussion based. Harps and flutes are complex instruments that have evolved from much simpler concepts. This is akin to claiming that the first mode of transportation was the bicycle (as opposed to horse riding). 6.) Perhaps Tubal-cain was inspired by that flaming sword guarding the Garden of Eden? 7.) How does Lamech come up with this figure of 77, and why does he think he's entitled to it? If he is indeed entitled to have anyone who seeks revenge against him doled out for a punishment that is 77 times worse than it should normally be is it because he's a direct descendant of Cain, or does this apply to all murderers? If the latter, what does this say about capital punishment?
Thoughts:	It is perhaps around this chapter that I would assume that most people stop attempting to read the bible from cover to cover. The narrative makes wide jumps in time, lists a lot of names that are virtually irrelevant to the story, and introduces characters only to leave a lot of loose ends. The most bothersome aspect of this chapter is how male-centric it is. Eve is mentioned almost solely as a "baby-making machine" and none of her daughters are named - as we have to assume that she had at least two, to provide both Cain and Seth with wives. The only other two women we hear about are Adah and Zillah, whom much like their great-great-great-great grandmother are relegated pretty much to the status of "baby-making machines" as well (although they do get to hear their husband Lamech's tale of killing a kid who attacked him). Furthermore the polygamy of Lamech is not addressed either, which seems odd in contrast to chapter 2 which puts emphasis on (I'm assuming, monogamous) marriage making a man feel "complete again" with a woman by his side. Furthermore we have to assume that these first generations of people (possibly within approximately 100 years, but which we'll get more into in the next chapter) were able to develop inventions such as bronze and iron working as well as complex musical instruments such as the flute and harp. Also of note we also get our first glimpse of animal sacrifices (that God will later demand much more of) from the story of Cain and Abel.
Chapter 5
Summary:	This chapter is more of a genealogical listing of Adam's descendants, and their radically astronomically old ages. We learn that: Adam: was 130(!) years old when his son Seth was born. Died at age 930*. Seth: was 105* years old when his son Enosh was born. Died at the age of 912*. Enosh: was 90* years old when his son Kenan was born. Died at the age of 905*. Kenan: was 70* years old when his son Mahalalel was born. Died at the age of 910*. Mahalalel: was 65* years old when his son Jared was born. Died at the age of 895*. Jared: was 162* years old when his son Enoch* was born. Died at the age of 962*. Enoch*: was 65* years old when his son Methuselah was born. Kept in constant contact with God. Disappeared at the age of 365* because God took him. Methuselah: was 187* years old when his son Lamech* was born. Died at the age of 969* 5:27 "And all the days of Methuselah were nine hundred sixty and nine years: and he died." . Lamech*: was 182* years old when his son Noah was born Lamech named Noah (meaning "relief") because he believed that Noah would bring the people relief from the hard work of farming of the ground which God cursed. Died at the age of 777*. Noah: Was 500* years old and had three sons: Shem, Ham, and Japheth
Notes:	1.) These are not typos. These are the actual ages listed in the bible. 2.) Not to be confused with Cain's son Enoch from chapter 4. 3.) Not to be confused with Cain's great-great-great-grandson Lamech, the son of Methusael from chapter 4.
Thoughts:	I really don't know where to begin with this chapter. I think any rationally sane person who has made it this far into the bible should begin to start having doubts towards the bible's historical accuracy at this point. The idea that human beings had at one time lived to ripe ages of up to 969 years old is silly and unfounded, and outside of the bible (and other mythological texts) has never been documented. It becomes even harder to swallow when we notice that these men both seem to procreate and finally die all on either rounded ages (ending in a zero) or ending in the numbers 2, 5, and 7 (excepting Methuselah who dies at 969, but is still obviously a patterned number). Personally, I don't think these numbers are coincidental and most, if not all, probably have significant meanings in numerology (such as Methuselah's death at 969, Enoch's disappearance at age 365 - coincidentally the number of days in a year, and Lamech's curious age at death of 777). In the days of the bible's authorship numerology and astrology dominated people's beliefs, prophecies, and superstitions, and I think it's very clear to see that these numbers are not natural ages of death, but carefully selected numbers of mystical importance to the people of the time - which would ease the transition of adapting people's beliefs from pagan religions rooted in numerology and astrology into Judaism (and later Christianity and Islam). Again, there is absolutely no credible evidence archaeological or otherwise documented (outside of religious and mythological texts) that correlate to any human being ever having lived much longer than 100 years of age. While some may argue that lack of evidence doesn't prove that people didn't at one time perhaps live several centuries long lives, the burden of proof lays upon the ones making an outlandish claim such as this, and it is foolish to accept this possibility as plausible without additional evidence. Particularly amusing to me however, is that Enoch just "vanishes into thin air" after 365 years.