GENESIS: Chapter 31

Chapter 31
Summary:	Jacob learned that Laban's sons were complaining about Jacob gaining his wealth at the expense of their father. Laban's attitude had considerably cooled towards Jacob as well. God then spoke to Jacob telling him to return to the land of his father promising to be with him during his journey. So Jacob sent for his wives Rachel and Leah and told them of his intentions on returning home. He further explained to them that their father had turned against him, despite how hard Jacob had worked for him over the years. He continues on to explain that the streaked, speckled, and mottled goat situation was guided by God, making him wealthy at Laban's expense. Rachel and Leah agreed that they were fine with leaving with their husband as there was nothing for them there in their homeland. They complained that their father had basically reduced their rights to that of foreign women and that the riches that God had bestowed upon Jacob were rightfully theirs and their children's to begin with. So one day while Laban was out shearing his sheep, Jacob set his wives and children on camels and fled without telling Laban. He drove the flocks before him and took everything he owned (Rachel also steals Laban's household idols before their departure) and started out to return to his father Isaac in Canaan. He fled with all of his possessions crossing the Euphrates River and headed to Gilead. Laban didn't learn about their departure for three days, but set out in pursuit with several men and caught up with them seven days later at Mount Gilead. That night God appeared to Laban in a dream warning him to be careful about what he says to Jacob - telling him not to give Jacob his blessing nor curse him. Laban finally catches up to Jacob and chastises Jacob for leaving without notice without giving him the chance to say goodbye to his daughters and grandchildren. He tells Jacob that while he could crush him, that God had appeared to him telling him not to be too hard on Jacob. He then asks Jacob why he had stolen his household idols. Jacob explained that he fled out of fear that Uncle Laban would take back his daughters by force and denies taking Laban's idols, unaware that Rachel had taken them. He gives Laban permission to search for anything that may have been stolen from him and curses whoever stole Laban's idols, asserting that he had nothing to do with it. Laban searched Jacob's tent first, followed by Leah's and the two concubines and did not find his idols. Finally he approaches Rachel's tent. Rachel had stuffed the idols into her camel's saddle but was now sitting upon it in her tent. She excuses herself to her father for not getting up explaining that she was pregnant. Laban searched the tent thoroughly but did not find the idols. Jacob now angrily confronts his Uncle Laban demanding to know what he had found to be stolen in his search. He continues to tell Laban that never once had he ever stolen anything from him during his twenty years of service to his uncle, fourteen of which he had worked to earn his wives, despite the fact that Laban had reduced his wages ten times. He then claims that God had apparently seen through Laban's cruelty prompting his visit to Laban the previous night. Laban replies that he would never do harm to his daughters and grandchildren and offers to draw up a peace pact. Jacob takes a stone which he sets up as a monument and tells his men to gather more stones to make a heap of them. Jacob and Laban ate together beside the pile of stones, which they named "The Witness Pile" - "Jegar-sahadutha", in Laban's language, and "Galeed" in Jacob's. Laban states that the pile of stones will serve as a boundary line that neither Jacob or himself would cross to attack the other. Jacob took an oath before God to respect the boundary line, and slaughters an animal as a sacrifice to God at the top of the mountain to seal his oath. Jacob then invited his companions to a feast and spent the night with them on the mountain. Laban woke up early the next morning, said his goodbyes to his daughters and grandchildren, blessed them, and returned home.
Thoughts:	Despite the length of this chapter, there's really not much of anything overly significant here except to close off the narrative of Jacob and his Uncle Laban's antagonistic relationship towards each other. It's difficult to discern how badly Laban had reduced Jacob's wages by what we are told in the previous chapters, adding in that Jacob still managed to become extremely wealthy - whether by his tree branch trickery or by God's intervention. It's far more understandable to Laban's irritation with Jacob than the other way around, as despite his Uncle's trickery he has managed to prosper in spite of. It is also unclear as to why Rachel steals her father's idols before they leave. Whether it's meant as spite, whether Rachel is trying to send a message to her father about his idols, or perhaps that Rachel actually wanted the idols for personal reasons is not made clear. Her actions and motivations behind the theft only seem to serve to add danger to the struggle between her husband and her father. God continues his questionable method of appearing to people in dreams warning Laban to neither bless nor curse Jacob. Knowing that dreams are actually a reflection of our subconscious it's debatable as to whether this visitation could in fact simply be Laban's dream instead of a divine appearance. Our dreams are composed of a lot of scenarios that are impossible, supernatural, and defy logic - it would seem obvious that if God intended to send a clear message that he could and would take a much more clear and concise route than appearing in a dream. The chapter closes out with Jacob and Laban calling a truce and both promising not to pass a pile of stones that Jacob built with the intentions of harming each other. Jacob slaughters an animal to seal this pact with God as well.

GENESIS: Chapter 30

Chapter 30
Summary:	Rachel became envious of her sister Leah having all these children and begged Jacob to give her a child. Jacob noting the absurdity in her request replies and tells her that it's God's fault that she hasn't had any children, and not his. So Rachel decides to let Jacob sleep with her slave Bilhah, so that she could claim her slave's children as her own. Bilhah gives birth to a son that Rachel names Dan (meaning "Justice"), and later to a second son that Rachel names Naphtali (meaning "Wrestling") - due to the competition with her sister. Meanwhile, Leah, who wasn't able to get pregnant again, gave her slave-girl Zilpah to Jacob for him to sleep with. Zilpah gave birth to a son that Leah named "Gad" (meaning "My luck has turned"), and later a second son that Leah named Asher (meaning "Happy"). One day Reuben found some mandrakes (which were thought to increase fertility) growing in the field and brought them to his mother Leah. Rachel begged Leah to share them with her, to which Leah angrily retorted, "Wasn't it enough to steal my husband? Now you will steal my son's mandrakes too?" When Jacob came home, Leah told him about the mandrakes and insisted that he sleep with her that night. She became pregnant again and gave birth to another son that she named Issachar (meaning "Wages") - feeling that God had repaid her for giving her slave-girl to Jacob. When Leah became pregnant again and gave birth to her sixth son, she named him Zebulun (meaning "Gifts"). She later gave birth to a daughter whom she named Dinah. God finally answers Rachel's prayers and gave her a child, a son whom she named Joseph (meaning "May I also have another"). Soon after the birth of Joseph, Jacob told his Uncle Laban that he wished to return home and was taking his wives and children with him. Laban begs him not to go as he accredits his good fortune to Jacob's being there, and he offers to let Jacob demand whatever raise he desires to convince him to stay. Jacob agrees to stay on the condition that his Uncle lets him take all of the goats that are speckled or spotted along with all of the black sheep in his uncle's flock, adding that if his uncle ever spotted a white sheep amongst Jacob's flock then he would know it had been stolen. Uncle Laban agreed to this and formed a flock for Jacob consisting of all the male goats that were ringed and spotted; all the female goats that were speckled and spotted with any white patches; and all of the black sheep. His sons took this flock about three days travel away while Jacob stayed to work with Laban's flock. Jacob took fresh shoots of poplar, almond, and plane trees and peeled white streaks into them. He placed the rods next to the watering trough so that the flocks would see them when the came to drink, as this was when they mated. So the flocks mated before the white streaked rods and the offspring were streaked and spotted, and Jacob added them to his flock. He then segregated the ewes from the rams of Laban's flock and let them mate only with Jacob's own black rams. Thus building his own flock from his Uncle Laban's. Moreover he began finding the stronger animals to mate and placed the peeled branches before them, ensuring that the strongest lambs would become Jacob's own, while the weaker went to Laban. As a result, Jacob's flocks increased rapidly and he became wealthy with many camels, donkeys, and slaves.
Thoughts:	The chapter starts off with a fairly humorous rivalry between Jacob's wives Rachel and her sister Leah trying to out-birth each other. Rachel who's been barren so far has Jacob knock up her slave Bilhah and claims the children as her own, while Leah retaliates by also giving Jacob the go-around with her slave Zilpah, also claiming the slave-girl's children. The whole scenario is simply sad, yet comical, while also demeaning the value of these two sisters into simply baby making machines. Jacob meanwhile scores big adding two slaves to his concubine and a slew of offspring while the two women duke it out with their slaves and their bodies. Surprisingly, (or not surprisingly, depending on how you look at it) the bible gives credence the alleged magical fertility elements of the mandrake root. Obviously the clearly human authors of the bible believed in the common superstition surrounding the mandrake using, it as a story element to enhance the level of competition between the two sibling wives of Jacob. I'm sure religious apologists probably claim that God may have infested these particular mandrake roots with miraculous power or something to the effect. In any event, both women and their slaves bear Jacob a couple more children - including Rachel who has her first child ever. Jacob is now ready to leave much to his Uncle Laban's dismay who wants Jacob's magical blessings to continue to give him good fortune. He tells Jacob that he'll pretty much give him anything to stay and Jacob pulls the wool over his Uncle's eyes with a scheme designed to bilk his uncle's livestock of the choicest of the animals. I can only guess that the bible is again using a common superstition of the day to explain how Jacob's master plan was hatched by peeling tree branches and somehow ensuring that the offspring of mating goats were born with certain colors and markings. Once again, it's sort of surprising that the bible gives credence to common superstitions of the day, but not very much so when we deduce that the bible was written thousands of years ago by primitive people who believed in magic and wizardry and not by divine inspiration which would know better. I'm sure once again that the apologist stance is probably that God did all the work of ensuring that the odds came out in Jacob's favor, but if that were the case, then why mention the superstitious elements in the first place? Also why isn't there any mention of God's hand in guiding the superstitions? We finally end the chapter showing that Jacob has finally managed to pull one over on his Uncle Laban after that whole bride-swapping debacle from Chapter 29.

GENESIS: Chapters 28 & 29

Chapter 28
Summary:	Isaac called for Jacob, and blessed him. Isaac tells him not to marry one of the local Canaanite girls, but instead to go at once to Paddan-aram, to the house of his grandfather (Rebekah's father, Bethuel). He tells Jacob to marry one of his cousins - one of Uncle Laban's daughters - and sends him away to Paddan-aram. Meanwhile Esau finds out that Isaac has sent Jacob to Paddan-aram to find a wife and also (finally) realizes that his father despises the local Canaanite girls. So Esau heads out to the lands of his Uncle Ishmael and marries two additional wives from there, one wife being Mahalath, the sister of Nebaioth, daughter of Ishmael. Jacob leaves Beer-sheba and begins his journey to Haran. When he stops to rest that night and laid down to sleep, he dreams of a giant staircase* reaching from earth to heaven and sees many angels climbing and descending. At the top of the stairs stood God who gives Jacob his usual speech: this land is yours, you will have many descendants, you will be blessed by me, etc. - he caps it off telling Jacob that he will be with him wherever he goes, protecting him until God has finished giving Jacob everything he has promised. Jacob wakes up terrified thinking he has stumbled upon God's home and that this land is the entrance to heaven. He sets a stone (that he had previously used as a headrest during his dream) upright as a memorial pillar and poured olive oil over it. He named the place Bethel (meaning "House of God") which was previously known as Luz. Jacob declares that if God will in fact help him, then he will in turn choose Yahweh* as his god and will return to this very spot to worship him and will give 10 percent of everything he receives back to God.
Notes:	1.) Or "Jacob's Ladder" of which this chapter serves as the inspiration for the name. 2.) Yahweh (or Jehovah) is the name of God.
Thoughts:	Isaac once again reminds his sons that the Canaanite girls are the lowest form of scum as he sends Jacob off to find himself a cousin(!) / wife. Esau begins to think that maybe his dad might be right about his bigotry, yet instead of leaving his wives for new ones, he just adds a few more wives to his collection - including his cousin Mahalath, the daughter of his uncle Ishmael. Meanwhile Jacob has a dream about God and wakes up thinking that the village he is in is God's home. How or why he comes to this conclusion is a bit unclear and seems a bit silly to think of this little village in the middle of nowhere as something to the effect of God's summer home when he's vacationing away from heaven. I guess even mighty, angered, jealous dieties need a vacation once in a while.
Chapter 29
Summary:	Jacob traveled on and finally arrived in land of the east. He saw in the distance three flocks of sheep waiting to be watered. As he approached the shepherds, he asked them where they lived, to which they told him they lived in Haran. He continued to ask them if they knew Laban, the son of Nahor, to which the shepherds replied that they did, and that Laban was well and prosperous. He then asked the shepherds why they hadn't yet removed the rock covering the well so that they could water their sheep. The shepherds told him that they only remove the rock once all the flocks of sheep have arrived at the well. As Jacob was chatting away with the shepherds, the shepherds pointed out that the shepherdess that had just now arrived at the well was Laban's daughter Rachel. As he felt he was now entitled to do so (as Rachel was his cousin, and Rachel's sheep belonged to his uncle) he removed the rock covering the well and watered the sheep. He kissed Rachel and explained that he was her cousin and the son of Rebekah, her father Laban's sister. She ran home and told her father, and in turn Laban rushed out to greet Jacob and brought him home. After Jacob had been there for about a month, Laban offered to pay him for the work he was doing around the household. It states that Laban had two daughter: Leah, the eldest, who apparently had lovely eyes; and Rachel, the younger, who is described as "shapely". As Jacob had pretty much fallen in love with his cousin Rachel, he tells his uncle Laban that he will work for him for seven years in exchange for Rachel's hand in marriage. Uncle Laban agrees, stating that he'd rather give his daughter away to Jacob rather than someone outside the family. Jacob worked off his seven years (which to him seemed like mere moments, due to his love for Rachel) and asked for Rachel's hand in marriage so that he could sleep with her. Uncle Laban holds a big feast for Jacob, and after the party was over it was dark out. He then lead his daughter Leah into Jacob's room and they slept together. When Jacob woke up in the morning to find Leah in his bed he confronts his uncle Laban about the trickery. Uncle Laban explains that it goes against their customs to marry off a younger daughter ahead of an older one, but tells Jacob that he can have Rachel as well - if he works for him yet another seven years. Jacob works for his uncle another seven years and finally gets Rachel. Laban gives Rachel a slave named Bilhah to be her maid, just as he had given Leah a slave named Zilpah seven years prior to be Leah's maid. Jacob finally gets to bed Rachel and he comes to the conclusion that he loves Rachel far more than Leah. However, since Jacob was slighting Leah, God let Leah bear children while making Rachel barren. Leah becomes pregnant and gives birth to a son named Reuben (meaning "God has noticed my trouble"). She becomes pregnant again, naming her second son Simeon (meaning "God heard". She has a third son whom she names Levi (meaning "Attachment"), and a fourth and final son which she named Judah (meaning "Praise").
Thoughts:	Here we find Jacob finding and falling in love with his shapely cousin Rachel and working for his Uncle Laban in order to buy her hand in marriage. However, Uncle Laban being the crafty individual pulls the ol' switcheroo and sends his daughter Leah in to sleep with Jacob instead. It appears that the way marriage and virginity was looked at in the bible is the old slogan: "You break it, you buy it". It's interesting to note that there isn't any special ceremony for marriage, you simply sleep with a young lady and presto, she's your wife! Anyways, Jacob's obviously a bit steamed about the prank his trickster Uncle Laban just played on him, but Laban cons Jacob into another seven years of labor - giving him Rachel for real this time, no tricks, no fooling. Jacob now having the girl of his dreams as wife #2 obviously begins to favor her more, but God shows pity upon Leah by making her the sole baby making machine, leaving Rachel barren. God doesn't seem to be concerned that Jacob never really wanted to marry Leah and was only legally bound to her due to his prankster Uncle tricking Jacob into sleeping with her. Apparently God agrees with the mantra "you break it, you buy it" concerning Leah's virginity, and isn't too pleased when Jacob shows favoritism towards Rachel seven years later. He apparently thinks that having Leah bear a bunch of the children, while making Rachel barren, will make Jacob respect her a little more.

GENESIS: Chapters 24 & 25

Chapter 24
Summary:	Abraham was now a very old man, yet blessed by God in every way. He asked his head servant to promise not to allow his son Isaac to marry a local Canaanite girl, instructing the servant to instead travel to Abraham's homeland to find a wife for Isaac there. The servant asked Abraham as to whether he should bring Isaac to live amongst his relatives if he should find that he cannot find a girl willing to travel the far distance to Canaan. To which Abraham emphatically warns against, stating that this land has been given to him by God for Isaac. He tells the servant that God will send an angel ahead of him that will see to it that that the servant will find a girl to be Isaac's wife. He tells the servant that if he does not succeed, then he is free from his promise, but under no circumstances is he to take Isaac there. The servant packed samples of the best of Abraham's wealth along with ten of Abraham's camels and journeyed to Iraq to Nahor's village. When he arrived he parked the camels next to a spring and asked God to give him a sign to help him pick out the right girl for Isaac. Knowing that the girls of the village would be fetching water from this spring, he sets out a criteria for God to fulfill for him: he states that whenever a girl approaches the spring to fetch some water, he will ask them if they could spare some water for himself; if God "guides" the girl to not only agree, but to offer some water to the camels, the servant will be affirmed that God has chosen this girl for Isaac. Sure enough a beautiful young girl named Rebekah (the daughter of Bethuel, son of Nahor and his wife Milcah) arrives with a water jug and upon the being asked, agrees to give some water to the servant, and offers to water the camels also. After the camels were finished drinking he gave her a golden earring and a pair of golden bracelets and inquired to whose daughter she was and whether her father could put him up for the night. When she told him who her father was, the servant pauses to thank God for leading him to his master's relatives. When the girl went home to tell her family, her brother Laban saw the golden jewelry and heard her story. He rushed out towards the spring and invited the servant back to their home. After they settled the servant and his camels in, and as they were about to serve dinner, the servant insisted on explaining his visit before the meal. He explains to them*. what Abraham had sent him to do, and about his prayer to God by the spring - including his "offering water to the camels" provision. He concludes that God had lead Rebekah, being family, to the servant and now asks if she will be permitted to travel back with him. Laban and Bethuel, convinced that God had brought Abraham's servant here, tell the servant to take Rebekah and allow her to marry Isaac. Rebekah's mother tries to stall the servant's departure by another ten days, but when the servant protests they both agree to ask Rebekah whether she is ready to leave. With Rebekah's okay, they sent her on her way (along with her childhood nurse) and her family blessed her with a prayer as they parted: Thou art our sister, be thou the mother of thousands of millions, and let thy seed possess the gate of those which hate them. Meanwhile, Isaac had returned to Beer-lahai-roi, and as he was out talking a walk he spotted the camels approaching. Rebekah dismounted and asked the servant who it was that was approaching to meet them. When she was told that it was Abraham's son, she covered her face with a veil. The servant then told the entire story to Isaac*. Isaac brought Rebekah into his mother's tent and she became his wife. He loved her, and she became a comfort to him after the loss of his mother.
Notes:	1.) The bible has the servant recount the entire exchange adnauseum. 2.) Thankfully, the bible does not repeat the story in full for a third time.
Thoughts:	This chapter begins by yet again reinforcing the stigma that geography and ethnicity determines a person's worth, virtues, morality, and class. Abraham immediately elevates every female citizen from his birth place to a higher status than every single Canaanite. Sadder still, is to know that in our modern society this kind of prejudice was common place only decades ago, and still to a smaller extent continues to exist. Catholic parents don't want their sons to marry a Jewish girl; protestant parents don't want their daughters to marry a catholic; white (or other race) parents don't want their children to marry someone of a different race; etc. People are unfairly judged as a whole instead of as individuals by their race, their hometown, their choice of religion (or their lack thereof), and are instead lumped into groups weighted with predefined judgments against them. Following this, we then travel along with Abraham's head servant and read the silliest description of a "sign from God" - that if a girl offers to give water to the servant's camels that she was somehow persuaded by God (or chosen by God) to do so? In the chapter it isn't clear whether God confirms that he'll even play along with this request that the servant prayed for which pretty much makes the criteria seem about as reliable as a fortune cookie or one of those Magic 8-ball novelty gifts. Anyways, the girl who guesses what's behind Door #2 turns out to be Abraham's niece, so it appears that should appease Abraham's scrutiny and keep things in the family.
Chapter 25
Summary:	Abraham married again, this time to a woman named Keturah who bore him the following children (and their descendants): Zimran Jokshan: Sheba Dedan: Asshurim Letushim Leummim Medan Midian: Ephah Epher Hanoch Abida Eldaah Ishbak Shuah Abraham deemed everything he owned to Isaac, however he gave gifts to the sons of his concubines and sent them away to the east away from Isaac. Abraham died at the age of 175* and his sons Isaac and Ishmael buried him in the cave of Mach-pelah near Mamre, in the field that Abraham had purchased from Ephron. After Abraham's death, God poured out rich blessings upon Isaac, who had now moved south to Beer-lahai-roi in the Negeb. Ishmael lived until the age of 137 and left behind 12 sons. The following is a list of Ishmael's twelve sons (who founded the twelve tribes that bore their names) by the orders of their births: Nebaioth Kedar Abdeel Mibsam Mishma Dumah Massa Hadad Tema Jetur Naphis Kedemah These descendants of Ishmael were scattered across the country from Havilah to Shur (which is northeast of the Egyptian border towards Assyria) and were constantly at war with one another. Isaac was forty years old when he married Rebekah, and after twenty years of remaining childless and pleading to God to grant them a child, she finally became pregnant with twins whom she could feel fighting within her womb. Troubled by this she consulted God about her pregnancy in which he replied that the sons in her womb would become fierce rivaling nations. He continued to explain that the older son would become a servant to the younger. The first born twin was born covered in thick red hair and was named Esau, while the younger twin was born clutching Esau's heel and was named Jacob (meaning "grabber"). As the twins grew, Esau became a skilled hunter while Jacob was more of a quiet type, who preferred to stay at home. Isaac's favorite was Esau, for the venison he brought home, while Rebekah favored Jacob. One day Esau returned from an exhausting day of hunting to find Jacob at home cooking a stew. Famished, Esau begged his brother to share his stew. Jacob agreed on the condition that Esau defaulted his birthright to him. In desperation from hunger, Esau saw little value in the birthright he had just surrendered to Jacob and accepted the meal that Jacob fed him.
Notes:	1.) This is not a typo. The bible lists Abraham's actual age at death as 175 years old.
Thoughts:	Another poorly laid out chapter that intermingles long lists of descendants (most of whom will not be mentioned much further) with narrative stories. What we walk away with is that Abraham finally dies at age 175(!) - and despite the brief mention of his wife (concubine) Keturah and her children - we're meant to focus on Isaac (and finish off Ishmael's part of the story). The focus of the story has now shifted away from Abraham's life and onto the lives of Isaac and his twin sons. From our meager introductions to Esau and Jacob bargaining over their birthrights versus a hearty stew, we can deduce that either Esau is probably not the sharpest tool in the shed, or that Jacob is simply one hell of a cook.